The Times That Try Men's Souls
by neenea
Summary: Kanda finds Alma dead at last and Allen finds himself exiled from the Order, no longer classified as an exorsist but a Noah. Will the two outcasts finally be able to make friends in this time of need? And if so, to what extent will that friendship turn?
1. EXILED

**Author's Note:** This is my first time trying at any kind of story here on so I hope that you all enjoy it. This is going to be a sort of continual story based around Yu Kanda and Allen Walker, but I am going to make it more realistic than some other stories I have read on here and will try and keep it updated/based around what really IS happening in the newer mangas (based on updated chapters on , so try and keep as up to date on there as much as possible or else you'll suffer from SPOILER MANIA!). Also, unless if it is from dream to reality (I'll make it obvious when you read) the scenes will stay in 1st person but will switch between Kanda and Allen. **WARNING:** WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said before! I'm going off of 's status on the series so check their newest chapters if you're not sure where you should be in the series to read this fanfic! Other than that, if this story isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. But for those of you who are into all that jazz? Enjoy! :) P.S. even if you don't like Yullen, it won't turn that way for a few chapters so please read anyways? ^^"

_START OF STORY_- Kanda

"Is something wrong Kanda?"

I turned to face the boy sitting beside me on my right. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed together and his blue eyes looked up at me expectantly, his neck slightly craned foward. His hands were clutching the ground where it dropped into a large lake, filled with blooming lotus blossoms. I took note of his unmoving, white hair as I swear I felt the chill of a soundless wind.

_I'll wait for you..._

I looked back at the lake, my feet dangling over the lilly pads that floated upon its surface. My gaze became lost as I stared at one particular lotus blossom, nearly at its peak in life. I saw _her_ face beyond it. Her hand reached for the blossom, but then the delicate flower burned with an immediate flame. The lotus, dead, sank back down to the mud, and that woman, her saddened face looking up at me, smiled slightly and then sank down with it. I reached out to her, my eyes wide, mouthing the word 'wait' as my lips refused to voice such a plea.

"Yu!"

My gaze looked back behind me as I felt myself falling into the lake, and with horror, I looked upon the Alma I knew so long ago, and Allen...

_I'll wait forever..._

...his bloodied corpse dangling from Alma's Innocence.

I awoke with a start, my breath coming in quick, short gasps. I could feel a heavy layer of sweat coating my entire body. I looked around at my surroundings and realized that I was in Mater. I looked down in my lap, expecting to see Alma there but in his place was crumbled rock. I stood erect and looked around quickly, hoping to see either that woman or Alma, but neither were in sight. He was dead. He was finally, actually dead. My eyebrows furrowed together in frustration, and I put my left arm to my face to try and fend of the burning tears that fell to the ground effortlessly.

"Alma...I'm so sorry...please forgive me..." And then I remembered the battle back from where I came. _Thank you- Allen Walker. You being here helped me._ I looked up, blinking away the now-forgotten tears. Saying his name, he made such an odd face. Did it really matter so much to him? What had happened to Allen? And everyone else? Was Allen really...the 14th?

I looked up at the hidden sky. I suppose...that since my job here was done, I had better get moving. But where to? I couldn't go back to the Order...not after all that had happened. Not after what I had done, what Alma had done. And then another question exploded in my mind. Would...Allen be welcomed back to the Order?

NEW SCENE- Allen

"_We are now in a state of emergency. A Noah has been discovered within the HQ. It is currently running toward the East Beach with Allen Walker. At 22:00, we will meet up for an emergency strategy meeting. At 22:10, all exorcists will be given a mission with no time limit. Due to the situation, the pope will be issuing an imperial order. It will be delivered to everyone. As of now, we will be freezing Allen Walker's rights as an exorcist. From here on, he shall be classified as a Noah_."

The sound of the Order's announcment rang in my ears, even from this great distance. Apocryphos...how such a thing could do so much damage from the inside out of the Black Order I don't think I will ever know. But one thing is for certain...I've been exiled. I can't go back, not even to warn them of the protective Innocence of the "heart". But...would it do anything to them? Was it just the Noah it was after? And if so, did that make...me...a Noah?

"That scared me, are you two okay?" I heard Tyki's voice above me, atop Timcanpy, whom was holding Road and myself in his large mouth. I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion, I could have died, but Road had jumped in front of me to take Apocryphos's fist herself. And I saw Judgment, raised to Master's head, flash into my mind once more. I closed my eyes tightly, so that I saw stars, but I couldn't shake the horror, or the constant throbbing feeling in my head.

"I don't know..." I muttered pathetically. He sighed and reached downward to pick Road up into his arms. He ran East quickly and I followed, Tim following closely behind me. Why was I following him? He was a Noah, he was the enemy. He was my enemy.

_As of now, we will be freezing Allen Walker's rights as an exorcist._

I skidded to a halt, the harsh words of the Order sinking in.

_From here on, he shall be classified as a Noah._

Did that mean...I was now the enemy? Then...what did that make the Noah...to me?

NEW SCENE- Kanda

I cursed as my slowly-healing body screamed out in searing pain. I ignored it, continuing to climb the rubble of the old abandoned town. I didn't have Mugen at my side anymore, and yearned greatly for its presence. I needed to be careful now. As much as I hated to admit it, I would be useless against any Akuma, much less the Clan of Noah. As I flung myself over the edge of an opening into the coolness of the open air I inhaled quickly, appreciative of the fresh air, untainted by musty bacteria or the rust of age old blood. Where was I even going to go? I still hadn't made up my mind. Maybe I could sneak back to HQ and steal back Mugen; I was sure that they had taken it after the battle with the Noah. I wasn't sure what the outcome of it was, but it's postitive that those church bastards slunk away as everyone else fought.

"Dammit!" I spat on the ground and got up to continue walking onward. I didn't know where to go. I needed to get Mugen back, but did the Order even have it in their possession? Did the Noah have it? Did the Noah...destroy my Innocence also? My heart dropped suddenly. Mugen...what if Mugen no longer existed? What would I do? Was I...no longer an exorcist?

"Damn you Innocence..." I hated it. I always had. I cursed the Innocence in my early years, but even now I realized that I still despised it. If it wasn't for Innocence...or the church...or the Earl...or those damned Noah-! Noah. Was Allen one of the Noah? I remembered his skin, an ash gray, after I stabbed him for the last time with Mugen. I looked down at my quivering hand, stained with dried blood, of whom I don't remember. It was all my fault. I did this. If only I did something back then, if only I said something sooner, if only I looked at Alma before, if only...if only Allen didn't need to sacrifice himself to open my eyes. Alma...Allen...everyone. What have I done?

NEW SCENE- Allen

I looked off into the distance. The sun was setting and I felt a swelling pain growing in my chest. Quiet tears slowly flowed down my cheeks. I was no longer aware of where I was, I merely stared off into the ocean's horizon.

"We must go back to the Lord Millenium 14th..." Tyki started. I stared out at the ocean,a dead feeling englufing me from the inside.

"I'm not the 14th..."

"...it's not as if you can even go back there now, so why not come with us this time?" Tyki continued, ignoring me.

"I'm not a Noah..."

"You'll be welcome amoung us, the Earl would be pleased to be by your side." Tyki encouraged, throwing aside my pathetic, half-hearted denials.

"I'm not going there..."

"We'd be happy to have you with us." He looked down at me and smiled, walking up to my left side.

"...ever..."

"Then where are you going to go?" A fresh tear slid down my cheek.

"I don't know."

"Then why not join us for now?" I could sense the slight irritation in his voice.

"Because you're my enemy."

"We're family 14th," he laughed.

"I'm not the 14th."

"Yes...you are." His smile was gone. I didn't need to tear my gaze from the fading sun to know that; his tone was tight and he didn't like the conversation going in circles. Another tear slowly rolled down my face.

"I'm no fucking Noah..."

"Then what are you?" Tyki asked amused. I furrowed my head into my arms that I lied lazily down on my bent knees. I sqeezed my eyes tightly shut and felt my body heave as I let the tears come easily. My voice cracked as I cried out my only reply.

"An exorcist!"

_END OF CHAPTER ONE_

**End Note:** WELL! That seemed like a good place to stop for now, gosh my brain hurts! D: I'm not sure how this will work since I want to keep this consistent with the manga and yet I'm working ahead of what's translated online? Ought to be interesting...now I'm not saying this end diolouge is true and I'm not saying Kanda's alive in the manga, I just think this makes the story much nicer. ^^ Plus Kanda CANT die yet ( I won't let him! ^^ The base characters don't belong to me but this story does so comment and tell me what you think of for starters? :) Yay! ^^ and M rating just to be safe cause this is prolly gunna get interesting for sure later.. ^^"


	2. WANDERING ON THE WATERS EDGE

**Author's Note: **Woo! Chapter two! here we go, gunna try and really get into this now, chapter 1 felt more like an intro to this fanfic so prepare for amazingness! ;) I LOVE reviews now so thank you soooooo much to all that wrote one on my chapter one! ^^ WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! I'm going off of 's status on the series so check their newest chapters if you're not sure where you should be in the series to read this fanfic! Other than that, if this story isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. But for those of you who are into all that jazz? Enjoy! 3 P.S. (story is aligned for now but if I progress too much in here v.s. what goes on *just the main points* in the manga then I might just branch off into my own little world) ^^" would still keep it realistic though, of course! :D

_START OF STORY_- Allen

"I'm no fucking Noah..."

"Then what are you?" Tyki asked amused. I furrowed my head into my arms that I lied lazily down on my bent knees. I sqeezed my eyes tightly shut and felt my body heave as I let the tears come easily. My voice cracked as I cried out my only reply.

"An exorcist!"

-

I felt my shoulders shake uncontrollably as I cried out on sheer instinct, I wasn't sure as to how much more of this I was going to be able to take.

"Open a gate to the Earl 14th..." Tyki ordered. I glared up at him, my eyes red and face wet.

"I told you I'm not go-"

"You don't have a choice 14th..." he interrupted.

"I told you I'm NOT the 14th!" I interjected quickly as he continued on.

"...we said last time that we would bring you with us next time, remember?" I paused, my voice suddenly caught in my throat. He wasn't going to force me to go there, was he? He couldn't...I wouldn't let him. I stood up suddenly, my eyes cold as they met his unexpectedly. I allowed for just enough time to pass in order for his confused state to glaze over in the thought that I finally decided to give in.

"Too bad," I said with a smirk. I jumped over the side of the cliff, down past the horizon, into the darkness that I had suitably been banished to. _I will keep on walking...I will never give up. That was my vow to Mana..._ I would have to run harder than ever now with both the Clan of Noah and the Order against me.

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

"Dammit!" I spat blood from the inside of my cheek onto the rough ground. It was taking longer and longer for my body to regenerate itself these days, but this was of a whole 'nother matter! The burns steamed unbearably on my arm and I could feel my ribs cracking back into order. _Crk..Krik...SNAP!_

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I screamed out in pain despite myself as my ribs snapped back into place, my arm burning to no end now as I slowly healed. I pressed my teeth down tightly together to keep from crying out again like some weakling. I opened one of my eyes slightly to see and staggered onward, the pain nearly unbearable. Then, I felt myself falling, more pain, and then a sharp _crack!_ I bit my lip till I felt the warmth of my own blood seep into my mouth. And then, darkness.

"You keep coming back here even though you think you don't want to...I wonder why that is?" I heard a soft voice say quietly to me. I looked to my right and once again saw Allen, his face contorted with concern and his usual forced smile. I looked out in front of us to the pond full of lotus flowers spread below us. I tried to get up quickly to look behind me properly but my body was frozen stiff. _Dammit! What was wrong with me!_

"Are you that afraid, of letting go?" I tried to move but I couldn't do anything! _Dammit! Allen, move it! Can't you see that you're just going to die __again__!_

"Or...maybe you're afraid of opening up your heart to us? After what happened with Alma I could understand...I wouldn't want to ever care about anyone again but..." Ughhh! I couldn't move or speak! What was going on? Why did I feel so...heavy?

_I'll wait for you..._

I froze. No...not yet!

"...we're your friends as it is, whether you like it or not. So if you ever need help, don't be afraid to lean on us, okay?" Allen laughed half-heartedly, his pained smile evident in his tone.

_I'll wait forever..._

Oh god please don't...not again...don't do this to me again!

_SLASH!_ I froze, the warm liquid on my face, down my face, red as ever. His blood, tainting my sight, the world a deep crimson. The lotus flowers, rotten of the waters surface. A tear ran down my face, mixing with his fresh made blood. Why? Why does this always happen? Will everyone I ever let close to me die? Why God? You bastard...you don't care do you? You're laughing at me...aren't you. I moved my head freely now, but slowly nonetheless. Allen...his bloodied corpse lied on my lap, his eyes open- soft, and his smile still there. I felt my body shake harshly, watered-down blood dripping slowly onto Allen's face- already growing paler.

"Yu? It's okay now, we'll die together, that was my promise to you, wasn't it?" I felt the Alma I knew so long ago cut my fiercly, his Innocence killing me. But...did death feel so, empty? So...sad? Was death really this sad? Why is death sad?

_Because you lose everything you love...forever...  
><em>

I reawoke with a start, hazed, and once again drenched with sweat. I tried to open my eyes but they refused, so I tried to listen for anything instead.

"Is he dead? Can I poke him?" A harsh, young, male voice asked intruigingly.

"Nooooo! You can't do that! He's not dead, right Grandfather?" a young, high-pitched, little-girl's voice cried out. I heard a faint shuffling of heavy footsteps and then a gruff, dried up old voice popped in.

"No, in fact I would say this young man has been much closer to death than this. I'm sure he'll wake up soon my dears," he drawled out. I tried to open my eyes but they felt so unbearably heavy. I finally managed to open one eye enough to see a sliver of light, a thatched room, and three people standing over me. The young boy to my right was about 12, and could even have easily passed as Daisya Barry's younger brother. He wore a red bandana around his muffled hair and wore a loose black tee-shirt that was only half tucked into a pair of tan pants. He had a large, toothy grin on his face that made my skin crawl. The little girl to my right had cropped blond hair and looked only to be about 7 years old. She wore a brown, dirtied, old rag for a dress and her worried- blind- grey eyes looked at me intently. The old man standing behind her leaned on a crooked wooden cane, his silver hair long and whispy, almost as much as his rediculously long beard. He wore simple clothing of a desert child. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I propped myself up.

"Oho...looks like this is a stubborn little kitten, eh?" the old man chuckled brightly. _Kitten?_ What fucked up place did I land myself in. And it was only then that I realized my surroundings. An old thatched hut lay the stone table on which I was sitting, and beyong the strung door that hung loosely upon the roof? The forest? A village? Where was I even? I tried to quickly move off of the stone table and walk away without any form of gratitude but the floor suddenly flew right at my face, and then stopped quickly.

"Not so fast young man, you have lost a great deal of blood, I'm sure you're still to weak to move. Roland, why don't you fetch some food for our guest?" the old man chastised and asked humbly. I pushed his arm from where he held me upright and staggered toward the door.

"There's no need, I'm leaving." I growled. I didn't have time for such stupidity. I needed to retrieve Mugen and- ... I paused, my hand holding the stringed door half open, revealing a small pond. What would I do if...after I retrieved Mugen? And...didn't this scene feel, familiar?

"Please stay a while, you're not well," the old man's worried voice called from behind me. Then, my knee kicked foward as the little girl clamped herself to my leg.

"Please don't go! You're all hurt, right?" she whined into my leg. I glared down at her, I didn't have time for such trivial things and the weak hospitality of strangers!

"I'm leaving, now let go of me," I growled on last time. The boy wrapped the girl into his arms, glaring at me right back.

"The least you could do is say thank you asshole." I felt my teeth grit together tightly.

"I didn't ask for your help, I would have been just fine on my own," I replied as I walked out of the pathetic excuse for a home. I looked around, not sure of where I was, but I continued onward, following the stars in the direction I was sure HQ would have been, a small ravine running out of the pond continuing by my side...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen (allen prolly would have left with tyki before so here is where i start changing this to suit my own story)

I tripped over bushes and rolled over thorns until I finally fell into a small ravine. I was soaked! And cold! And STARVING! I didn't know where I was going but then again, I didn't really have any real destination in mind. If I really wanted any place in particular to go to I could just use the Ark, but for now, wandering aimlessly suited me just fine. I felt like resting but my gurggling stomach begged otherwise. How long would it be until I came across a village of some sorts? Was HQ really that far out?

"gurrggle..GURRGGLE...ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!"

...

"I'm so sorry...I'll try and feed you as soon as I can," I pouted, rumbing my poor protesting tummy. I couldn't believe how loud it could get, didn't I just eat earlier in the morning? What time was it already? I could see the stars out overhead but I couldn't be sure how late it had gotten already.

"Maybe if I just continue heading East there will be a village...eventually...hopefully..." I groaned. Why couldn't I have eaten more when Link had brought it! Jerry's cooking was the best, I could really go for a few dozen mitarashi dango, that's for sure. I looked up into the sky. I didn't see Tim anywhere, I sent him off quite a while ago to try and see if he could find the nearest village but he still wasn't back yet; I hope he didn't get lost. I finally decided to drag myself out of the water and to follow it in the direction that I saw Timcanpy disappear. The forest around me was dark, and a low fog hung on the ground to the point where I couldn't see below my feet even after a few yards.

I had to squint just to see straight ahead a few feet, the fog was getting so thick, and then suddenly- out of nowhere- it lifted so that a could even make out a dark figure on the other side of the ravine, not 30 yards away. My cursed eye wasn't reacting to it, so I was sure it wasn't an akuma. Now the only question was, was this person an innocent human, exorcist that heard of my new "title", or one of the Clan of Noah?

**End Note:** Chapter 2 DONE!:D This one took a bit besite its super short length because I get very easily distracted so whenever I felt myself straying a long ways too far from finishing this chapter I would re-read all my lovely reviews from chapter 1 and start up on an inspirational rampage again. :3 Just to let you all know though I will for sure get one chapter in per week, may be sooner if i get the time but between school and whatnot it can get pretty tight on my 'me' time. ^^" Thank you all who reviewed my last chapter, your words did me wonders and I hope you all enjoyed chapter 2 as much as you did the first! :D And I promise to make the next one longer since the REAL story finally actually start-starts in chapter 3 :))


	3. MOVING FOWARD

**Author's Note: **Well...apparently the site: mangahere is more updated on its chapters than mangafox so chapter 205 is up there! ^^" I'll get the main points this chapter, pray that people won't acuse me of plagarism since I'm keeping the main ideas. WILL CHANGE THE END SO I CAN GET ON WITH THE LOVELY STORY I JUST HAD POP INTO MY HEAD! :D About bloody time if you ask me, prepare for update mania here, I have no school till tues. morning and as long as no work pops up for me I should have broken/numb fingers by the time Tues. comes around. :) WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! mangahere just had a chapter 205 update for -Man manga so make sure youre at least that far to continue reading this fanfic! Other than that, if this story isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. But for those of you who are into all that jazz? Enjoy! 3

_START OF STORY_- Allen

I had to squint just to see straight ahead a few feet, the fog was getting so thick, and then suddenly- out of nowhere- it lifted so that I could even make out a dark figure on the other side of the ravine, not 30 yards away. My cursed eye wasn't reacting to it, so I was sure it wasn't an akuma. Now the only question was, was this person an innocent human, exorcist that heard of my new "title", or one of the Clan of Noah?

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

Dammit! I was going in circles! I thought I was going straight at first because I never strayed from the small ravine but I was already back to the pond that lied before the small home that had been built into a hill. The little girl from before was reaching into the pond and the old man stood over her, speaking softly to her. I gritted my teeth together and stormed over to them.

"Hey old man, where the hell is the nearest town from here?" I growled, my patience non-existant thanks to my wasted last few hours. The old man looked up at me intently.

"Ahh, it's the hot-headed little kitten. I'm afraid there is no village other than the abandoned town of Mater near here. But beyond Mater you can find the town of Kreet a few miles further West." He smiled at me, his bony old finger pointing in the direction that lied behind his little home. I continued to glare at him, unnerved by his attitude. He somehow reminded me of General Tiedoll...and that ticked me off even more!

"Hey! What the hell are YOU doing back here mooch!" the young boy from earlier shoted at me from the doorway, a bamboo sword in his hand.

"Not a thing you little brat!" I shouted back as I stomped onwards, ready to turn the corner to head up the hill.

"Young man, why don't you have dinner with us first? I'm sure that you must be famished and I would like to ask something of you as it is," the old man chimed after me. I scowled back in his direction, ready to protest when my stomach gurgled loudly. He and the little girl laughed as I grit my teeth together, unsure of what to do then.

"Aha! It's settled then, come in come in," he laughed heading for the hut, the little girl looking in my direction and holding his hand tightly," we don't bite, but careful for Roland, he may just try to clobber you yet! Oho!" I paused, weary of his intentions. For all I knew the three of them could even be akuma, and without Mugen there wouldn't be much I could do in such a small environment as their 'home'. I sighed. I'd eat, then leave. I didn't owe these people anything, and I certainly didn't owe them any friendship. I swore a long time ago that I wouldn't need anyone again...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

The closer this mysterious person came to me I could see it wasn't just a single person, but two. Only...the one was holding the other in its arms.

"Are you stupid? Why did you run you fool, don't you understand the situation you're in?" I heard Tyki growl just as I could make out his face, no more than a few yards away from me. I glared at him, repositioning myself so that I could react immediatly if he decided to attack. He shifted Road's limp form in his arms, I glanced at her face only for a moment. Was she going to be all right?

"Of course I do, that's why I'm not going with you idiot." Tyki ignored me and jumped to my side of the small ravine, not a few feet away from me.

"Thanks to you Road isn't waking up, any form of normal Innocence wouldn't have done a thing but Apocryphos- he's different. He's like our grim reaper, and we don't know what he's capable of yet. For all I know, he could have hit her so far to the core to have hit her Noah memories." He paused, looking at me intently. "She can't open portals either, I need you to open a door in the Ark Allen, before Apocryphos comes for you again. We need to hurr-"

"_I SAID IM NOT GOING_! Look...I'm sorry about Road but you're _Noah_! You're my enemy, and I'm still an exorcist goddamnit! And you're so afraid of Apocry-whatever_ only _because he's _just as bad _as you guys!" I screamed at him. I felt genuinly terrible for what happened to Road, it was my fault after all but...I don't know _why_ she did it. And I couldn't stop her at the time, but there was no way I was going with them! "You guys...you're monsters." Tyki laughed.

"Monsters? US? You're a cursed exorcist with the memory of the 14th implanted in you, and that freaking guardian of the Heart wants to become _one_ with you! You have two monsters inside of you, are you really one to talk down on _us_?" His manical laughter rang out in the stillness of the night, and continued on even as Tim blundered down by my side, growling intently at the man. All I did was stand there...not moving...just staring at him wide-eyed, aware of exactly what he was saying. And then...pain! A searing pain in my arm!

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

I swallowed the last bite of unidentifiable food before I stood up to head for the door. The old man paused and then scarfed the rest of his meal down, following me at an annoyingly quick pace out the door.

"What do you want old man?" I growled when we were both outside, standing just before the pond.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" he said admiringly.

"What are?" I asked annoyed at the old man already.

"The flowers. My granddaughter, Clarissa, adores them. Do you know what kind they are?" He replied, smiling kindly at me, his crooked, wooden cane sinking slightly into the ground under his weight.

"Che...they're lotus flowers. Any fool would know that," I scoffed. I stared down at the smallest buds softly. I even momentarily pondered if this was yet another sick and twisted dream of mine.

"Oho! Someone knows their flowers! However, are you aware of its meaning?" he paused, smiling at me yet and then turned to the pond," The Lotus flower symoblizes both the clarity of heart as well as the mind...in other words, the Lotus represents strength," _Strength to keep moving onward..._," good luck," _What luck? All is it is misfourtune..._," a long life," _Long life, constantly popping back up undearth the mud for hundred of years...long is a meanial word for it..._," honor, and respect. I have even heard travelers speak of her as a universal representation of the spiritual presence in human lives!" I suddenly felt very uneasy being in the presence of this old man.

"She?" I questioned his word-choice for the Lotus flower as it changed in his most recent ranting-phrase.

"Ah, yes. It's quite nice to think of such a beauty as something more than just a plant, am I right boy?" he chuckled. I felt myself becoming increasingly irritated by his words and soon couldn't help myself.

"Idiot. They're just flowers. They're born in the mud and still try and reach up to Heaven. If they represent anything they represent us and our fate, because no matter how hard they try and live, reaching upward at soemthing that isn't there, they just end up withering. They give their fragrance to the world but no matter how hard they try, in the end they just wither. They dry up and sink back into the mud." I paused, unsure of why I said such things, but it's true, isn't it? Isn't that all they represent, the fate of us exorcists? The old man paused as well but turned to smile at me again.

"You...lived your share of terrors, haven't you young man? Aha...I'm sure you have, that would certainly explain why you're so tempremental and closed off to the world. But even so, the flowers may wither and fall back down into the mud, but nonetheless, they don't really die. They just take a nice nap. And perhaps in a hundred years, that same Lotus blossom will rise back up again to show itself and its fragrance off to the world, right?" he chuckled and then moved closer to me. I moved away from him.

"Leave me be you o-" I started curtly.

"Are you by chance an exorcist?" I paused. I moved slightly away from him more, dammit! How could I allow myself to become so distracted! Was he an akuma after all? Or a spy for the Earl? The Order? I scowled at him.

"What the hell are-" I started but he cut me off again.

"The town of Mater, I thought it was haunted so I left to come and live out here. My son, however, had refused to leave with his wife so ill and his two beautiful children so young," he paused," Apparently exorcists exist to destory monsters called Akuma. A young exorcist saved my children, and brought them back to me. I do not know his name even now, but his strong face, kind eyes, and well kept raven hair reminded me so much of my lost son. I cried many nights after that, and learned from Roland that his mother died of her illness, and that my poor boy was killed by an Akuma." He paused to take in a few shakey breaths. I still remained weary of him, ready for anything, but I felt myself becoming less and less rigid. "Apparently that young man killed such a monster. He said that I could ask for help from any other wearing a strange crest that he bore, for that would mark them as an exorcist. I only met one other after that, a woman, she had beautiful blond hair that reminded my of my sweet lost daughter in law. I knew after that, that I didn't need to see such an odd crest to know an exorcist. It's the way the carry themselves that sets them apart from other people." He turned his gaze again from the pond to look me in the eyes. I glared at him sternly but he ignored me yet further. "So are you?" There was a long pause, and an unusual stillness in the air.

"Yes." I replied, my voice not hinting at any emotion I may have been hiding. His smile brightened and reached further across his hair-covered face.

"Then I thank you for all you've done for us as well my young man. I truely hate to see children fighting as you do but please, I wish you the best of luck getting across Mater, and here, take this!" He cheered, scurrying as fast as his frail body could back to the hut, quickly reappearing with a long black case. I paused, shocked, already knowing its contents. He opened it before me, revealing an extravagently crafted katana. The sword resembled thorned vines and ending at the hilt in a single, remarkably realistic, Lotus flower. The silver shine of it glowed in the moonlight and the sharp edge of the blade almost cut through the air as I lifted it out of its sheath to test its weight. It fit perfectly in my hand, and it was so light...it almost felt as if it was an extension of my own arm rather than the weapon that I was fully aware that it was. I paused to throw the old man another stern glare.

"How did-" I started.

"Ah! Once when I was a wee lad myself I had been a skilled swordsmaster in Edo, but I retired here with my son and wife to become a Master instead, creating swords of the most artful taste. It's hard to not tell another swordsman after living as I had for so long," he chuckled one last time and then bowed slightly, his cane seeping into the ground again.

"Good luck on your journey young exorcist." I paused, sheathed my new- hopefully temporary- blade, and bowed back.

"And you...living out here with your grandchildren." I refused to give thanks, despite the stab in my stomach that nearly ordered otherwise. I wasn't going to succumb to such feelings of friendship...ever. I walked backwards quickly, attached the sword to my belt, and continued up the hill and back to the town of Mater.

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

"GRYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I screamed out, clutching my arm, backing away from Tyki. I heard him stop laughing and squinted one eye open to see him standing over me.

"Idiot, your stupid Innocence is telling him exactly where we are! Here...I'll cut it off for you," he said coldly, his eyes focused on my disfigured arm as he raised his hand above his head, ready to strike. I jumped back just as I felt the wind from his hand cut past my face. I staggered backwards, breathing heavily, my arm out of control. He looked at me, his eyes no longer containing any form of laughter as the had just moments before.

"You fool, he's coming you know. Are you that dependant on that damned thing?" He growled. I felt my back hit the tree behind me and my arm flung wildly in the air. Then...he froze, and stood up unbearably slowly.

"W-what is it?" I stammered, unsure as to whether or not if Tyki had finally lost it or is it was something else...

"Apocryphos...he's almost here already..." he turned to face me quickly. "Take care of Road, I'm going." It took the half-second that he needed to jump to the other side of the ravine and into the forest before I could hardly make out the word 'wait' in my head. Soon though, my Innocence calmed itself and I was clutching only a normally-formed arm. _You have two monsters inside of you!_ I closed my eyes tightly, my head hung low to the ground. He's right. I chuckled lightly to myself. I'm still not even sure as to what I am, is that what's doing this? Link, Master, Lenalee, Lavi, Komui, Reever, Bookman, Krory, Johnny, Chaoji, Alma, Kanda...everyone. I'm so sorry, this was all my fault...I really am disgusting. Mana...why did this have to-

"Don't stop. Keep moving." My head snapped up to look at Road, sitting up against Timcanpy's fat body, her form still limp. I looked at her intently. She moved her head over so slighlty to smile up at me kindly.

"Those were...Neah's last words to Mana...before he-" and then she stopped, her form glowing brightly, her body...dissipating into nothing but little light orbs that were floating away.

"Road!" I ran over to her and tried to reach out to her, but my hand only touched the last few light orbs that rose into the sky. I looked up as they all vanished..._dammit_! This was all my fault! Why did this need to happen? I got up slowly, looking over at..._up_ at Tim.

"Um...can't you make yourself just an eensy bit smaller Ti-" _POP_! As if those were the magic words Timcanpy suddenly changed back into his average size. Well...that's convinient. I looked up one last time, and then smiled at Tim.

"This is the last time I'll use the Ark Tim. No more from the Noah or the Order, I'll have to-"

"Allen!" I turned back just as I created a door to see Lenalee standing at the edge of the trees. She was breathing hard, tears flowing down her face.

"You...you're not leaving are you! You wouldn't betray us Allen, I know it! Please say it's not true! Everything...it wasn't Allen right! You know you can't leave! If you do then I'd have to fight you! Please Allen, say it's not true! If you use the Ark now you'll get into trouble, you can't leave!" she sobbed coming up in front of me, her pleading face stabbing a dagger straight to my heart. Poor Lenalee...she'd never understand. I smiled kindly down at her.

"I have to Lenalee...there's something I have to do yet...as an exorcist." I paused, her face twisted into shock, pain, confusion, worry...I englufed her in a hug, perhaps our last one. I felt her body freeze up, and spoke quietly into her slightly regrown hair. "Wait for me Lenalee, I'll come back to my real home, the Order, as soon as I can, I promise." I let her go and moved toward the Ark's open door.

"Allen!" I heard her cry out behind me, whatever pleas she may have continued with cut off as I went through the open door, and straight into the abandoned town of Mater. _Kanda...you're the last person I can turn to now. I only hope you're still alive in here somewhere...  
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**End Note:** Chapter three is now fiiiiiiinniiiiished~! ^^ Oh I'm so happy, I think this one came out better than I thought. How luck I was to find that chapter 205 existed, now Kanda gets a sword until he retrieves Mugen, Allen meets Kanda much faster now (Mater and HQ was waaaay to far away for my liking D: ) and we all get some extra oh dearsies in the meantime. ^^ I love how I got a review in before I submitted this, I swear I'm addicted now! :D I hope that everyone likes this chapter as much as they did the first! ^^ (chapter one I think will always be my favorite, just because that was too beautiful to beat) but I'll try and make each chapter better than the one before so please stick with me here! ^^ Lots of Love from your dear fanserver, neenea. 3 Watch for updates and please review! ;)


	4. KREET

**Author's Note: **Well well well, I just hope you all won't expect Allen to have gone to Mater (but maybe he did!) at the end of chapter 205 in the manga! ^^" But here is where the wonderful yullen part of this fanfic shall finally start! :D About bloody time if you ask me, trust me, I've been waiting for this point as much as you all have- but noooo, instead of just some oneshot neenea wanted to go off and make a realistic fanfic so when you read the manga now youll be all screwed up. How wonderful I am. :3 lol ^^" WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! I know for sure that mangahere has chapter 205 up so make sure youre at least that far to have read this fanfic, although I'm sure you're fine now at this point in the story.. ^^" Other than that, if this story isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. And if you haven't seen the rating? It's M, so I think that makes the content self-explanatory. But for those of you who are into all that jazz? Enjoy! 3 

_START OF STORY_- Allen

"Allen!" I heard her cry out behind me, whatever pleas she may have continued with cut off as I went through the open door, and straight into the abandoned town of Mater. _Kanda...you're the last person I can turn to now. I only hope you're still alive in here somewhere..._

I stepped onto the rumble of a town that once stood tall. Mater. This was where Kanda and myself had our first mission together to obtain the Innocence from the doll Lala, who sang to her beloved Guzol until she finally broke. Kanda said that all we were, as exorcists, were destroyers. But I didn't believe that...I thought that we could be destroyers who could also _save_ people. I still believed that, in a sense, but now wasn't the time for memories, I needed to find Kanda. I stood atop a building, the cool breeze ruffling my hair slightly. I quickly scanned the area for any sight of Akuma, and just South, I saw three level ones and one level two that were heading in this general direction. I sighed, I needed to find Kanda, but perhaps it would be best to get these Akuma out of the way? I lunged foward, and leaped from one roof to the next until I was on the hard ground and in the forest to the South of Mater, Kanda somewhere behind me. And then I heard something else, loud booms echoing in front of me. The Akuma..they were shooting at something, but what? I kicked forward, my pace substantially quickened.

NEW SCENE- Kanda

_Dammit_! How could I have gotten so careless? I was running back to Mater when all of a sudden I was attacked by Akuma! I couldn't stand Allen's eye but sometimes I can't help but think of how it could come in handy every now and then. Wait...Allen? Since when did I stop referring to him as beansprout? Oh, that's right, right before I jumped into the gate with Alma...when I thanked him. I always hated him, and I still kind of do since he is a damned Noah after all, but he's different. He's not just some brat, and I carelessly let him get close to me. I hated the way he always smiled and laughed no matter what, it reminded me so much of Alma...before things went to hell. I ticked me off! But something changed in that last battle, for all I know he could be dead or in league with those fucking Noah! But something in my head said otherwise...

"Oh hoho! Look at this wee wittle rat, he thinks he can run he can! Oh hoho! Blow him to pieces dear Akuma! Do it do it! I want to see his insides paint this boring place! Eehehehe!" the level two cried out in sheer excitment. _Dammit_! If only I had Mugen instead of this pathetic sword, what good will it do against the Akuma? I paused, my back pressed tightly against the tree that I was hiding behind, and then lept foward just as the Akuma's bullet collided with it.

"Oh hoho! The little rat can jump! Catch him, blow him to bits, make his insides splatter all over this poor little-Eh?" the level two paused in his continuous rave, and I jumped out from the rock I then was hiding behind to run around the level ones and see what was going on.

"You left your backside open, idiot." _BOOOM_! The akuma exploded and Allen jumped through the disipating smoke to finish off the remaining level ones. Explosions echoed in my ears and as the smoke faded, my senses finally came back to me.

"Hey, beansprout! What the hell are you doing here?" I shouted, suddenly irritated, as I walked foward to him. He looked up at me quickly, obviously shocked, and then smiled kindly. I stopped. What the hell? Something was wrong, he never smiles at me.

"Eheh...Kanda! I was just going to go look for you actually..um-" He scratched the back of his head and laughed without humor. I glared at him.

"What happened?" I demanded. Last I saw his odds were close to none compared to anyone else. I assumed he couldn't go back to the order since he was a damned Noah, and he probably didn't go with the Earl because he seemed to hate him and the rest of the Noah as much as I did.

"Eh? What do you mean?" he said playing dumb. I gritted my teeth together.

"What do you think! At the battle stupid!" I shouted. He paused, his arm dropping slightly to the back of his neck.

"Oh..yea. Well..." he paused, his eyes furrowed up, his smile still there, and his eyes glazed over as if he was about to cry. I waited for about a minute until I let out an irritated sigh.

"Listen, I'm heading to Kreet, it's just a few miles west of Mater. I don't care where you're going but at least tell me what happened on the way there. There's nothing else around here that'd you'd want to go to anyways," I growled, continuing north to Mater. Allen ran up to my side, pointing to my right.

"Um, Mater's this way.." he laughed. I stopped, grit my teeth loudly together, and stomped onward to the real north.

"Just shut up will you!" I growled as Allen laughed at my side, a small smile threatening to come out at any moment...

NEW SCENE- Allen

We arrived at Mater too quickly, but I had just finished filling Kanda in on everything that's been happening. He seemed lost in thought, but for some reason I was fine with that. It was a lot to take in...

"Apocryphos, what the hell could he really be after?" His eyebrows were furrowed together and his gaze leveled with the road that lead us deeper into Mater. In the center of the town was a large fountain, long since dried up, that we would head east at.

"guurgle, GURGGLE, ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRRR!" I felt myself flush a little and flung my arms over my stomach just as Kanda's neck snapped to look at me, his eyes slightly large, his usual frowning face quivering slightly, as if he was about to...laugh? I turned my head away from him.

"Eheh...when I was imprisioned I didn't eat anything until Jerry's little bowl of food just before the attack by Apocryphos...and I haven't had a morsal since..." I laughed slightly, but it was a very dry one as my stomach cried out for food one more time.

"Che, here, eat this." I snapped my head back at Kanda, stars in my eyes, the moment I heard the word 'eat', only to just barely catch the small sack that he had flung at me. Tim sniffed it over my shoulder as I held it in my palm, the size a perfect fit. He had food? How!

"Just south some old man gave it to me in case if I got hungry on my way to Kreet, but I just ate there so I'm fine. You have it." I looked up at Kanda quizzically and his glare sharpened only to look away.

"I'm not being nice to you or anything I just don't want to listen to your damned stomach the whole way there so stow it beansprout!" he growled. I laughed slightly, somehow much more at ease with Kanda now. I'm not sure when it happened, but I seemed to have been growing softer around him lately, maybe it was because of that last battle, after he actually said my name, before he disappeared into the Ark with Alma. And then it suddenly hit me. I looked around at Kanda sheepishly, unsure of what his reaction would be.

"Um..Kanda? Alma..is he, oka-" I started quietly.

"He's dead. For good this time, the dark matter had consumed him and then dissipated into nothing." he interjeted quickly, still looking away. His voice was flat, matter-of-factly, but I sensed a strong sadness inside of him nonetheless. I turned my head foward again and took away the string that held the small cloth together to reveal two buns and some beanpaste. I paused, and then ate one of the buns whole.

"I'm sorry...really," I whispered after I had swallowed. My hunger suddenly sprung foward and I scarfed the rest of the food easily. It wasn't much, but it at least quieted my stomach. Neither of us said anything then until we reached the fountain.

"Maybe we should rest for a bit?" I suggested. Kanda paused, somehow pondering the thought.

"Che, we don't need to rest, let's keep going." he growled as he turned east. I smiled lightly, was he really this terrible with directions?

"Kanda?"

"We don't need to rest so move it beansprout!" he shouted. I laughed.

"Kanda!" I managed. He spun around suddenly angry only to see me pointing to my left.

"You did say west right?" I continued to laugh as he flushed slightly and stomped west-ward childishly.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up beansprout!" he yelled as I hurried to catch up to him, Tim trailing me helplessly.

NEW SCENE- Kanda

Kreet was finally in sight. I wanted to hurry as much as I could even though I still wasn't sure as to what I was going to do once I got there. Allen's stomach was quietly starting to make its presnece known again so he'd have to eat, despite our lack of money. Wait...what was I saying? Despite what Allen all said there was no way I was going to stick with him! I couldn't think straight. Either I'd start to think about all the shit surrounding him or the dreams that I'd been having ever since he sent Alma and myself through the portal. I couldn't even concentrate on which direction was which, and that only made me look like a complete idiot then! We approached the glowing town quickly but jumped back as we came upon its enterance.

"Welcome to Kreet, where the weak become strong and the strong become champions!" four girls sang out, two on either side of us, their arms extended into the town. Both Allen and myself paused unsure of whether or not to enter such a place but then the scent of fresh food rolled outward and Allen became possessed.

"Food!" he cried as he ran in. I chased after him.

"Wait, you idiot! What do you think you're doing you don't even have any money!" I shouted after him. He stopped suddenly and I stupidly ran into him. He looked around quickly and I got up, cursing the already cursed idiot.

"Damn you beansprout, you looking to die!" I growled as I held my head with one hand. I watched him momentarily until his eyes lit up, and with an 'aha!' he was walking onward again. I growled under my breath and followed the idiot. We came upon a small board with three men gambling. The dice rolled, the greasy haired one to our left cried, the tubby on in front of us laughed, and the ginger midget to our right danced.

"Ooo, this looks like fun! Mind if I join?" Allen chimed. The three looked up at him stupidly from their measly game of poker and grined cruely. I had heard that Allen was a master gambler and never lost due to his ease when cheating out men of their own clothes. Lavi made sure the entire order was aware from ontop a table in the cafeteria when they had gotten back from a mission one time.

"Yea, sure kid, but you need something to bet with, and that girlfriend of yours aint gunna cut it!" the greasy haired asshole laughed. My teeth quickly grit together as I immediatly unsheathed my new blade and stuck it near to his adams apple, his shrill cry cut off as his head moved backwards.

"Real silver," I said, turning the blade so the hilt shone luminously,"real sharp," I continued, probing the tip of the blade to draw out a droplet of blood from his quivering neck," and real craftsmanship that you as 'man' couldn't comprehend," I paused, sheathing the sword and smiling cruely at the three. "Think it's worthy enough to bet on?" Allen stared at me dumbfoundedly but sat down happily when they nodded slowly. I sat down next to him and hoped only that he was as good as Lavi praised him to be...these bastards needed to be taught a lesson in manners it seemed...

"Four of a kind!" Allen chimed as the three men sat in their underwear, a pile of winnings burying us both. What the hell...he never lost once! How the- I knew he would cheat but I'd been watching him very closely and hadn't even been able to tell how he was doing it! He wasn't- _that_ good...was he?

"One more you little brat!" the three shouted. The three muttered amoungst themselves as Allen whistled cheerfully, taking his cards and trading three in for some others. His face, he never stopped smiling...maybe his constant smiling was a side effect of this?

"Royal straight flush!" he chimed again. This guy...he was scary...

"Here, you can have your stuff back, I just needed some money for food," Allen said smiling, holding the three gutless swines' things out for them. If it were up to me we'd take all their shit and then dump what Allen was handing over to them in the garbage. Those assholes didn't deserve his pit-

"We don't need your pity kid, but thanks," they muttered immediatly retrieving their things. We walked off, myself increasingly irritated with the bastards. I still had half the initiative to turn around and cut them down properl-

"So, where would Kanda like to eat?" Allen asked, obviously in a very giddy mood thanks to his winning streak. I looked at him sternly only to have him gasp loudly and run off behind me into a small resteraunt nearby. I sighed and followed him, having the feeling that yelling at the slow-child wouldn't help.

NEW SCENE- Allen

After I was done stuffing my face with almost everything the place had and Kanda had his usual Soba noodles (which I was surprised to find out that they even had), Kanda and myself walked out of the building into the bright town. It really was unexpected to find that Kreet was so commercial and was in the closest vicinity of a town of the complete opposite sorts. I looked around and saw many happy faces, Kanda not being one of them. His usual scowl was evident and it ticked me off a bit. I understood that everything going on made you hate to smile but he could still at least _try_.

I looked around and saw a small stage where a preppy girl with hair that looked like Lenalee's before she lost it...only pink. She was singing a giddy, jumpy song that I wasn't really a fan of but everyone looked like they were having fun. Timcanpy had already started flying over there so I chased him, yelling at Kanda to follow. He was obviously irritated with the entire atmosphere of the place but I didn't care. If he was going to be an ass on purpose I was going to try to force him to have a little fun, considering that I didn't want to be stuck with his usual attitude while we continued onwards.

"Beansprout! Where the hell are you going!" he shouted from behind me. I saw Tim fly right by the singer, her flowered dress swinging with her hips as she danced with the golemn. I jumped on the stage, despite the crowd, and caught Timcanpy in my hands quickly. I looked out and saw Kanda glaring rather crossly at me from a distance away so I hopped down and walked over by him.

"Are you _trying_ to cause a scene beansprout?" he growled. I let go of Tim and glared at him right back, my good mood suddenly lost.

"It's Allen you idiot and why can't you at least TRY to have some fun!" I yelled. His eyebrows furrowed in.

"How the hell can you have fun at a time like this! Don't you understand the situation here?" he snarled back, turning to walk away. I paused.

"Hey Tim, you think you could try and find a place for us to stay tonight?" I asked lightly, a forced smile spreading across my face. He nodded and flew away above the crowd. I ran to catch up to Kanda who ignored me and turned a sharp corner.

"Hey! If we're stuck together we may as well TRY to get along, right? And you've used my name before, so I'd appreciate it if you could-" Kanda turned around to face me so suddenly that I almost ran into him. The side of his mouth twitched slightly as if he was debating something, but thought otherwise.

"Any akuma around?" I was taken aback but looked around anyways just to be sure. Nothing.

"No...there's no more akuma around he-"

"Why was there that small group from before then?" I paused only for a moment to shrug.

"I don't know, maybe they patrol? Or maybe they were looking for Alma and had somehow tracked you down?" I assumed unsure of his sudden change in the subject. He stared at me for a second too long for comfort and then turned back around.

"Che, whatever. He's dead now so I guess there's nothing to worry about then, huh?" I walked after him, his pace quickened. This wasn't good...did I say something that I shouldn't have? Either way, he didn't seem to be very happy. Maybe those guys from the poker game put him in a sour mood. _Yea, sure kid, but you need something to bet with, and that girlfriend of yours aint gunna cut it!_ I snorted slightly to keep the laughter from coming, despite his lack of a proper shirt they still dared say that? It was easy not to laugh then because he got really scary at that point but now? I didn't think I was going to be able to help it...and with Kanda stopped, giving me his confused face...I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't laugh...

NEW SCENE- Kanda

The town was silent now that the sun had set, and Timcanpy still wasn't back yet. Allen was sulking behind me, rubbing his face where I had punched him for laughing at such a thing earlier. Girlfriend my ass! Those damned-

"Hey Kanda?" I stopped to glare at the troublesome brat.

"Now what?" I snarled. He looked up at me pathetically, still rubbing his face. Spoiled brat, we both got into a fight and delt the other some nasty blows, he really needed to lay it on this thick? He pointed into the air behind me and I turned to see Tim flying down by us.

"You find a place Tim?" Allen asked sadly. Tim nodded and flew in the direction that we were headed. All of the inns that Allen and myself had found we're full so at least the damned golemn had some luck. We followed him around a corner, down an alley, and up the street until we found a place called the Cat's Eye. Weird name...but when we checked to see if they had any rooms available they cheerfully told us that they had plenty. I took the key, irritated, and walked up the creaky stairs of the musty old building into a two room place. One was a bathroom, mold gathered around the sink. And the other was empty except for two beds, a broken window, and its share of cobwebs. I took to the bed nearer the window and Allen plopped down onto the other bed loudly.

"Hey Kanda?" I glared over at him, irritated by his constant questioning.

"NOW what?" I growled. He poked his head up from the inside of the bed to look at me sleepily.

"Night..." he yawned. I looked at him, taken aback slightly as he closed his eyes and immediatly fell asleep. I turned away from him and lied down to face the ceiling, my arms folded behind my head. We still hadn't decided where we were headed yet but we settled of west being an okay start. A lack of a plan irritated me but I was tired so my mind shut down and decided to leave the thought for morning.

"Why do you hate me so much Kanda? Do you enjoy seeing me die this much?" Allen whimpered beside me. I looked at him, once again in the same nightmare that I had been having ever since Alma's death. Something felt off though, different.

"Idiot...why would-" I started protesting.

"You always call me Allen in your head but, why don't you use my name more? You've used it before so I know you can," he looked up at me, his eyes glazed over with tears. I moved slightly backwards from where I sat next to him. This wasn't the real Allen for sure, this wasn't like him one bit.

"Say it?" I glared at him. This dream was off, what the hell did his name have to do with anything? But...it was just a deam right? So it wouldn't matter even if I did...

"Allen-" I started, and then saw his eyes widen as blood splashed my face, his body suddenly close to mine, a sharp pain in my torso. I looked beyond him, and saw Alma, crying, glaring down at me, his Innocence running through Allen's body, through mine as well, I realized.

"Thank you...Yu..." I heard Allen whisper, his body suddenly limp. I moved one arm up to his shoulder, frozen in this never ending shock. I pushed his body back just far enough to see his corpse's expression- a pained smile, eyes closed, and eyebrows raised. And then, a tear, and another, that had splashed onto his face from my own. I held him to me, as I glared up at Alma, who was suddenly looking very blurred. By tears? Or death?

"I will never let you love again Yu, I curse you."

My tearful eyes opened to see Allen's face over mine. He seemed to be saying something but I couldn't hear it. I lifted my sweat-soaked body from the bed slightly and looked him in the eyes. A dream? No, I just woke up. That was a dream, he didn't really die. That wasn't real, he was alive, right here, in front of me, saying something...I felt myself become suddenly limp as I fell foward.

"Kanda! Kanda! Yu!" he cried as he caught me before I hit the ground...

**End Note:** My numb fingers said that this was a good place to stop for now. ^^" Might be a few days before I get the next chapter up but I hope you all enjoyed this one. Finally! Kanda and Allen regroup! But we all knew it wasn't going to be this easy ;) prepare for some action in the next chapter though, a dream-dazed Kanda could be interesting . *whistle whistle whistlee* WELL! This one felt too out of character in my opinion for Allen and Kanda both but I guess that since this is finally getting the fanfic feel it's okay. haha Hope you all enjoyed and remember: reviews are neenea's new drug so be a good bunch of dealers as send me motivational words of inspiration please :3 3 And I just watched a vid. from youtube mocking Allen and Kanda with the song Best Friends by Toy-Box so somehow that corrupted part of this story...in case if the giddy-singer part seemed a little toooo random.. . ^^"


	5. JUST ANOTHER DREAM?

**Author's Note: **I dedicate this chapter to Pisces95 thanks to your consistent reading and reviewing and inspirational words on this story/to me! ^^ Hope you enjoy this chapter the most and here's to all who aren't reviewing but are reading (i can see all those stats on this story, yes) : please review. I'm addicted to reviews. And they inspire me to get chapters done quiiiickerrr! ;) ehem! WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! I know for sure that mangahere has chapter 205 up so make sure youre at least that far to have read this fanfic, although I'm sure you're fine now at this point in the story.. ^^" Other than that, if this story isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. And if you haven't seen the rating? It's M, so I think that makes the content self-explanatory. But for those of you who are into all that jazz? Enjoy! :3

_START OF STORY_- Kanda

My tearful eyes opened to see Allen's face over mine. He seemed to be saying something but I couldn't hear it. I lifted my sweat-soaked body from the bed slightly and looked him in the eyes. A dream? No, I just woke up. That was a dream, he didn't really die. That wasn't real, he was alive, right here, in front of me, saying something...I felt myself become suddenly limp as I fell foward.

"Kanda! Kanda! Yu!" he cried as he caught me before I hit the ground...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

I looked down terrified at the man in my arms. I awoke to see him sweating, his face contorted in pain, tears streaming down his face. When I rushed over to him to wake him up he screamed out and looked at me...as if I wasn't real. He tried to sit up, his breath coming in hard, to take a closer look at me. I didn't know what to do, he wasn't himself. And then he just- keeled over.

"Kanda! Kanda! Yu!" I never used his first name before but I half-hoped that he'd get angry and would just go back to normal. I tried to lift him back onto the bed when I realized he was just weak, not passed out again.

"You're...really alive?" I barely heard him whisper. What the hell was going on? What was he dreaming about? I propped him into a sitting position and sat uncomfortably next to him on the bed, his gaze going right through me.

"Allen?" I forgot his question almost entirely. Something was wrong, he was using my name, had been crying, and wasn't glaring at me. Three things that were NOT of Kanda's character one bit. He leaned foward, looking up at my face. I feigned a smile, a bad habit that I didn't really mind, and nodded my head slowly.

"Of course I'm alive, idiot" I laughed lightly, hoping he would come out of his daze any secon- and then I was warm. Kanda, his arms wrapped around me, actually had engulfed me in...a hug? I felt one arm press around my back, and the other hold my head gingerly.

"Thank God..." he sighed into my neck. I was frozen stiff. I didn't know what to do! What the hell was wrong with Kanda! This wasn't like him one bit; I tried to push him away but he seemed to refuse...was he still asleep? Did he think I was someone else? No, he said my name. Two oddeties in one situation. And then, I felt this even more odd feeling well up inside of me, as if, I wanted to hug him back? I was about to shove him off of me when I noticed his light, even breathing. I gently pushed him away to lie back on the bed, his sleeping form now an awkward sight to me. He seemed almost...gentle? I shook my head and started to walk back over to my own bed when I suddenly changed my mind. I didn't know if he caught a fever or something stupid like that, but he was obviously not well. I wasn't tired anyway, so I walked back over by his bed to sit on the floor next, my back leaned up against his bed.

Kanda...what fucking nightmare left you in such a state as_ that_? And then, I too fell asleep, the warmth of his hug still lingering...

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

I looked around. I was in the middle of an ocean, walking on its surface, the sky red. A lotus blossom lightly knocked against my foot as I continued walking slowly. And then I stopped, not a foot visibly made.

"Do you really hate me?" a gentle voice said from behind me. I smiled slightly to myself, knowing full well who's back was to my own.

"No..not really. I guess, I've always hated how much you remind me of Alma...of myself even. But, I was wrong. If that last battle taught me anything it was that I was wrong.."

"Do you hate Alma?" he continued. My pained smile faded and I looked up at the unusually colored sky.

"No, he was my only friend...and I betrayed him. I suppose that's why he won't let me-"

"Move on?" I paused, looking down at my feet. Allen's presence evident behind me.

"No...forget." I felt a hand on my shoulder, a human hand.

"He won't let me forget...that feeling of losing a close friend. I told myself again and again I wouldn't allow myself to befriend anyone again! Not after- but...even though I was sure _we _never would, I think you're the person I've become closest to all these years. And I hate myself for forgetting, for letting my guard down, for being so stupid!" I paused, not sure what else to say. This was just a dream, right? I could say anything, and if Allen died then...then I'd have to remember that it wasn't real? Because...the real Allen wasn't here. He was on a bed, in Kreet, in...my arms?

"Idiot...he won't let you forget? He won't let you forgive yourself perhaps, but who says you have to? That's why you have us, your friends, waiting for you. We'll forgive you for you, and then maybe you can allow youself to smile more? Think you can do it?" Allen walked foward on my left, and I turned to face him for this first time in this new, odd, dream. He smiled up at me, his eyes closed. I smirked slightly despite myself.

"Maybe..."

I awoke to a room that was pitch black at first, and then a pale grey. After I regained a majority of my senses I sat up in the old room. I looked down to my right and saw Allen, sleeping beside the bed. My heart dropped. Was he there the whole night? Why? His legs were bent and his arms hung loosely over them. His head bent backwards and his gaping mouth surprisingly only made quiet, steady breathing sounds.

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

It was dark. Not even dark. Black. No light, no sounds. Nothing. Just...black. Forever in all directions. I felt as if I may have been glowing, they way I felt. It was strange, and I wasn't sure if that was a comforting feeling or not. I started to walk but couldn't tell if I was making any progress or not, but it felt good to just move nonetheless.

"Timcanpy?" I called. No one answered. The yellow golemn was almost always by my side. It was odd not to find him near right now.

"Kanda?" I tried. No answer. I remembered that he was crying and started to run. Kanda and crying didn't seem right. Something was really wrong, and not in the basic sense of everything else that was going on lately. And then, I fell. Tripped somehow, and as I looked at the ground, the ripples told me I was on...water. But the crimson color told me otherwise...it told me it was blood. I leaped to my feet, and looked behind me. A body...but, whose? I looked down under the long waves of hair and saw Kanda's blank eyes staring up at me. I backed away only to fall again. At my feet was Master. I looked all around. Suddenly, bodies were rising from the ocean of blood. Lenalee, Lavi, Krory, everyone.

"It's all because of you..." I looked around. Nobody alive.

"This is all your fault." I covered my ears, the body-less voice still echoing in my head. _What if I had to tell you that once you become the 14th, you'd have to kill someone you loved_. I squeezed my eyes shut. Shut up! It's not real, it's just a dream! Wake up Allen, come on! Wake up! Wake up!

"They're all dead because of you..." A single tear found its way out past my eyelids. _Shut up..._

"You killed them, 14th..." My eyes flashed open and it was dark again. Black. Again. Nothing...forever...

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

I hunched over to look at Allen just as he jumped backwards, his breath coming in quick, his eyes blinking wildly, searching all around the room until they found me. I had taken an involuntary step backwards but held still now. His hair clung to his sweat-caked face as he tried to control his breathing.

"Kanda?" I paused for a moment, he looked as if he was about to cry if I said the wrong thing.

"What's wrong shortstack?" I tried, a glare in my eye, my voice even. Something was wrong, and I knew that I had been having my share of nightmares lately, but what about Allen? Maybe he could- A tear fell to the floor. Then two, then three, and then he buried his face in his arms to hide the rest.

"Hey! Allen, what the hell happened! Are-" I stopped abruptly as he flung his head up to stare me in the eye, his own eyes shocked.

"What did you say?" I paused. Huh?

"I asked you what the hell happened?" I tried. He shook his head quickly.

"No...what did you call me?" I asked again. I felt odd, like I wanted to laugh for some reason. I resisted.

"Allen," I said softly, a small smile playing at my lips. He looked away from me, a hand to his head.

"Shit, I'm still dreaming then..." I laughed cutting him off. It was an odd sound, even to me, but it felt...good. I felt lighter, happier even. It was too late, I was already too close to this man. I may never forgive myself with what happened with Alma, but with that last dream, I felt...different. Allen looked up at me strangely, half-scared even. I smiled slightly at him, my entire brain on shut-down.

"You're not dreaming." He paused, still unsure, and then another tear rolled down his face. I leaned in to wipe it away quickly, my thumb resting on the edge of his face. And then...something very wrong and stupid and out of the ordinary happened. I leaned in slowly, laid my lips upon his own, and pressed myself into him earnestly. His eyes shot wide open and he pushed away slightly. I closed my eyes and tried harder. I put my other hand around his waist and pulled him into me. I could feel him squirming, not sure what to do, what I was doing. And what the fuck was I doing? I didn't care, I didn't want to talk or argue or fight or anything anymore. I just didn't want to loose him too, and as I pulled away to breathe, I realized that my heart, withered and cold, rose back up, reaching foward to heaven, just like a lotus blossom...

**End Note:** WACK! slap in my face...this was nothing, much too short. And here I was hoping to get some smutty scenes in for you fannies D: What the heck is Kanda doing? Exactly what we want him to so yay :3 And what is Allen doing? My excuse is being shy but he's really just freaking out to all extent, cause if he's dreaming he says whats wrong with me? If it's not (and oh it is not ;) ) then he's wondering what the fuck possessed Kanda. . A fangirl;) All I can say, this story has finally hit its main role so let's see this thing speed up now, who's with me? ^^ All who agree and disagree, in other words everyone that made it this far, please review. If you don't then I can send Kanda after you all. :D And I do not own -Man, if I did it'd be too KandaxAllen horney and wouldn't be as amazing as Hoshino-sensei has managed thus far. ^^" REVIEW REVIEW! The more the merrier and the more the faster neenea-chan can get her new chapters up ;)


	6. A LOTUS WITH PETALS OF FIRE

**Author's Note: **Well...this chapter ought to be interesting. Where it shall go? None of you know, heck I'm not sure I do yet. O_o shows how much this one's gunna kill me. Will try my best not to make it short. *shot* 1st off? I love reviews. So please, if you bother to read this then review! I need to know if you guys love it, hate it, think I'm getting too OOC with Kanda and Allen, if you think I should just not bother, how I can improve it, idc, I just want reviews! :D happy ones ARE preferred though. ^^" You all should have seen my snoopy dance when I saw I had...DUNDUNDUN! TWO pages for my reviews on this story on there :D too cool... :3 2nd of all? I don't own -Man. That's all the work of one freakin talented japanese wonder, not me. But this story in particular DOES belong to me, so oh shits there. :D and 3rd of all? WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! chapter 205 is up online so make sure youre at least that far to have read this fanfic, although I'm sure you're fine now at this point in the story. Other than that, if this isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's going be a Yullen kind of story so just a big warning, that's the point of this fanfic. And if you haven't seen the rating? It's M, so I think that makes the content self-explanatory. But for those of you who are into all that jazz and are sick of my needless rambling here? Enjoy! 3

FLASHBACK

"They're all dead because of you..." A single tear found its way out past my eyelids. _Shut up..._

"You killed them, 14th..." My eyes flashed open and it was dark again. Black. Again. Nothing...forever...

_-break-_

I just didn't want to loose him too, and as I pulled away to breathe, I realized that my heart, withered and cold, rose back up, reaching foward to heaven, just like a lotus blossom...

_START OF STORY_- Allen

I pushed away from him quickly, not knowing how to react to the Japanese's actions. I put my clenched hand to my mouth, unsure that what had just happened in fact- had. I stared at Kanda hard, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. First, He screamed out in his sleep. Sign of weakness, something Kanda despised. Second, he woke up crying. Kanda never cried, another sign of weakness and thus, something else that Kanda despised. Third, he used my name. Fourth, he hugged me. Fifth...the list of recent oddities in Kanda's behavior flooded my mind. Kanda, still seeming slightly dazed, looked at me oddly, his gaze speculating, calculating...re-calculating, unfocused.

"Allen?" he tried. Again! He used my name again! I always argued with him to use my name but now? I was sure that any of his cruel nicknames would suiteme just fine. He paused a moment longer, his gaze thoughtful as he stared at the wooden flooring of the room. _What if I told you that once you become the 14th, you'll have to kill someone you love?_ I froze. Was...I still dreaming? No, there was no way. This would be too obscure a dream for even my mind to create out of nowhere. _They're all dead because of you..._ I put my hands over my ears tightly as I shook my head 'no', my eyes tightly shut. Get out of my head! _You killed them 14th, they're all dead because of you. It's because you're still alive, you shouldn't even be alive. What gall do you have? What gives you this right to live? _Tears forced themselves beyond my closed eyelids. I was pathetic, how could I cry when it was all my fault? _It's all your fault! It's your fault that they're dead! If only you'd just die 14th! You're a Noah! You don't deserve to live! Look at you! Monster! Devil! Demon! Akuma! KILLER!_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I shouted loudly. And then- I flew. To the left I flew as I felt a large sting spread across the right side of my face. I hit the floor hard, and put my hand gingerly to my sure-to-form-bruise as I stared at Kanda wide-eyed, his face like thunder. Was he...back to normal? His face was slightly flushed as he glared down at me, his fist a pale white as he clenched it harder and harder.

"Who's in your head?" he growled. I paused, not sure how to reply. I fresh tear rolled down my face, and I half wondered if Kanda would rid me of that one too. He didn't. And I wasn't sure if I was relieved...or...disappointed?

"I- I don't know...It's all my fault. Whoever it is...he's right. It's all my fault that they're all dea-" I paused. Nobody was dead, were they? Master? He, probably was, my stomach clenched uneasily everytime I thought of that scene. All that blood. Judgment, to his head, at the mercy of Apocryphos. But...Lenalee? Lavi? Everyone? ...Kanda? He was here, standing before me, obviously alive. Not dead...not yet? A freash tear rolled down my face. His face cooled as he continued to glare down at my pathetic form.

"Who's all dead? You say it like you killed your friends here." he tried, his voice softening but still not friendly. My lips, still slightly warm, tried to form an explanation but my brain was jumping from place to place to fast for me.

"The 14th...if he, if he wins, then...then it'll be my fault. Then, I really would kill everyone," I paused to look up at Kanda's tear-blurred form. "I don't think I'm strong enough. I won't stop, but I think he's winning Kanda," I whispered, my voice quivering as I tried not to let my voice crack, my eyes closed tightly shut. There was a long pause in the room before either of us said anything.

"Are you...really that stupid shortstack?" he sighed. I looked up to see him sitting at the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his bent knees. His eyes were focused, and no longer cold, as they stared straight into my own.

"Tsk, I thought you were smarter than that, even for an idiot." I felt my eyebrows furrow together. What was he getting at? I knew I was in the wrong, and here he was chastising me like a little kid. He wasn't even speaking clearly, was he really going somewhere with this or was he just having a time insulting me like usual. I felt my right hand clench up at my side on the floor.

"Are you really going to let yourself be held down like some helpless child? You've got the strength, so don't be afraid to use it. If you don't, then you won't be able to keep your promise to Mana, not really. And then you really will lose." he paused, standing up slowly, his left hand on his hip. "Or, are you afraid of winning? You don't know what you'd do if you did. Without the 14th, with your promise fullfilled, what would you do with yourself? You don't know, and that's what scares you most, doesn't it? You're only trying to make excuses so that-" his sentence was cut short as I jumped up quickly to punch him in the face, his shocked form flying over to my bed. I glared at him about to chew him a new one when he continued.

"You're only trying to make exsuses so that if you do lose, you can feel pity for yourself, instead of doing your hardest and screwing up where you'd only be pissed at everyone then." Just as he stood up I had made my way to him and my fist was already flying as he caught it in his hand, his face close to mine. His face softened then, a small smile on his face.

"Well guess what idiot, you've got friends on this side. So lean on us sometime, we're going to help you anyways- whether you like it or not." I froze. _Why did you stop me! Because you're my friend!_ Words from a lifetime ago echoed in my ears. My clenched fist trembled, my angered face softening into shock, fear, understanding. Terror. _Because no one is able to see the Akuma's spirit besides you, you put the entire burden on yourself and you just turn yourself into a sacrifice and fight. Just what exactly are we friends for? Don't be so foolish...why can't we, fight together?_ Lenalee, Lavi, Krory...Kanda even...everyone, they were always there. Helping me. Fighting by my side. _Johnny was just saying before while we were inside...Recently when Allen talks to us, he's not as formal! Still...why the formality anyways?_ When you become close friends with someone, you slowly start to lose the mask, and the formality wears, and soon you're not sure whether the smile is feigned or genuine...is that how it is? I looked down at my feet, fresh tears rolling down my face silently. Kanda's hand still held my alread-retreating-fist.

"If it was determined that the 14th awoke and was a threat within you, you were to be killed. But, you said that wasn't going to happen. 'If the 14th attacks the Order, I'll stop him myself.' That's what you said, right?" Kanda paused and I looked up at him, a spark igniting in my chest. He smirked, "You're going to keep that promise, right beansprout?" That little spark turned into a flame, engulfing me even more so than the 14th's memory. I smiled as I lowered my re-clenched fist to my side. A genuine smile on my determined face that mirrored Kanda's.

"Yes!"

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

We had left Timcanpy asleep at the room momentarily to find me some 'proper clothing'. After the battle, my uniform had been almost entirely ripped to shreads, my chest exposed to the moist and humid air, a cool breeze sighing every few minutes. My pants were ragged but obviously there. My boots, worn but still working well, were of the best condition. I didn't know what I was doing after I had woken up, but suddenly I realized that the man walking just ahead of me slightly was more precious to me than I dared admit. My friendship with him reminded me of Alma, but it was different. And the more I dwelled on the beansprout, the more her face seemed to fade. It had been even more so, his face coming in clearer than hers ever had. It bothered me, but I wasn't going to let it show. And I prayed only that he had forgetten my dream-dazed actions of earlier. I knew he didn't, but I still hoped. We found new pants identical to that of my old uniform's and a black sleeve-less shirt to wear with it. It would do. And with some of Allen's gambled money, the new clothes were bought.

We got back to the small crickety building quickly...too quickly. It had been along time since I had actually paused to take in the fresh air. No war. No church. No akuma. No ghosts. Just the simple air, not yet tainted by everything that this world has to destroy it with. Allen was curently devoring a cotton candy stick...one of six that he had purchased. I felt slightly ill just imagining how sickly sweet even one would taste, much less the entire assortment of colors that blinded the boy just then.

"You sure you don't want at least a taste? You should try more foods Kanda, you might like something other than soba noodles you know!" he said through a mouthful of the puffy candy as we walked the staires back to the room. I didn't answer him, just continued until I opened the door and set the new clothing on my claimed bed casually. I sat on the end next to them and sighed slightly as I lied my arms lazily over my knees. I'd been itching to train all day but there really was no place to-

"Something wrong?" I looked over at Allen only to see him devouring the last of the cotton candy, his face sympathetic but unworried.

"No," I replied flatly, standing up to change out of my day-old-dirty clothing. There wasn't even a shower in the bathroom, otherwise I would have started there. I was removing my new blade from my removed belt when I felt Allen's eyes were still on me. I turned to his uncertainly.

"Something you want beansprout?" I questioned. He jumped slightly and turned around to give the last bite of the sweet candy to Timcanpy.

"No, nothing." he replied quickly. I was about to reply with something I obviously wouldn't have thought through when he added quickly, Um, I'm going to go downstairs and check something quick. I'll be right back." I watching him quietly as he and Timcanpy left. I quickly switched into the new pair of pants and slide the shirt over my head easily, the touch of fabric on my chest odd due to the lackthereof for the previous many days. I slid the belt on the new pants and attached the sword to it effortlessly. I paused and looked back to the door. Where had Allen gone? Did he see any Akuma or did he just leave since- I paused, for some reason disappointed with his leaving. I walked over to the door to open it when I noticed the handel turn suddenly. I evaded the opening door just as a young woman with flowing blond hair and glasses peered sheepishly up at me.

"Um, you're friends with the white haired gentleman? Could you please come downstairs quickly?" she sqeaked.

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

I glared up at the thugs that loomed over me. The young red-headed woman, her hair cropped, was cowering behind me as I situated myself between her and the four burly men that had been harassing her.

"Move it pipsqueek..." one with a small black afro started, cracking his knuckles.

"Unless you wanna die of course!" the one with greesey hair chimed in, his face giggling. I felt my left arm twitch. These men weren't Akuma, if I fought them it wouldn't be right. But the way that they were acting they needed to be taken care of somehow and I wouldn't mind getting a little excer-

"If you're not going to fight then move it short stack." I turned around to see Kanda approaching us, along with a small blond woman who trailed shyly behind him. The moment the young lady behind me saw her she ran into the older woman's arms, sobbing harshly. I glared back at the four, Kanda now by my side.

"I told you the name's Allen," I replied irrited, not taking my eyes off of the thugs.

"Che, you think I care?" he retorted. I clenched my hands into fists as I smirked darkly.

"After we clean up the mess here how about I beat you to a bloody pulp too?" I said lightly, a bright smile on my face as the four in front of us grew steadily impatient as we bickered.

"That a threat beansprout?" he said, a smirk in his voice. The one with the baby afro was the first to strike, his fist swung at my head, veins buldging from his large muscles. I ducked backwards quickly, my hand flattening on the ground as I hoisted my hips upward, thrusting my feet into the larger mass's stomach. He flew backwards as I lightly followed through, my feet landing lightly on the ground as I turned to see Kanda easily throwing the greasy haired twit to the side, his fist already flying to the freckled man behind him. I put my left hand on my right fist as I thrust my right elbow backwards into the face of the charging assailant I heard behind me. And like that, it was over too quick. Four large men lied around us in a bloody heap.

"Che, pathetic," Kanda muttered. I looked back over at him, finally dressed properly. For some reason the image of him changing rushed into my head but I quickly shook it aside!

"You ready for your beating now idiot?" I smiled. Kanda looked over at me irritated.

"You got a death wish beansprout?" he growled back. The darkly tanned woman with black hair tied up into a short pony-tail skipped over to us quickly from the counter.

"Hey! You two are good, where ya from boys?" she chimed in, the tension in the air having no apparent affect on her.

"Che, whatever...don't expect me to help you with your problems anymore beansprout," Kanda growled as he turned on his heels back upstairs. I glared after him but smiled kindly at the young woman.

"Ah, we've been basically all over now," I replied, a slight flush crossing her face.

"Ah I see...well, you two should par-" she started. I raised my hand apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I really should get back now. Have a nice day ma'am," I cut in gently as I proceeded to the stairs and where Kanda had retreated to, Tim following over my shoulder. I opened the door to see Kanda on his side facing the window on his bed, his arms crossed behind his head. Tim flew over onto my pillow to take a nap so I stalked over in front of Kanda, his glare deepening as I looked down at him, my arms crossed.

"What's your problem?" He paused.

"Excuse me?"

"What's your problem? Why are you always in such a sour mood?" I repeated. He just glared at me.

"Like you care," he snorted, rolling over onto his other side. I paused. Was something bothering him? He's not the one who got kissed in a daze, and yes, that had been bothering me all morning as much as I tried to forget it. I paused, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Of course I do, you're my friend and-" he had shiften his left arm to glare backwards at me. My voice suddenly caught in my throat as he stared a hole through my head.

"And?" he pressed. I couldn't tell if he was irritated or actually wanted me to continue so I snorted softly to myself, my head turning to look at the floor.

"Nevermind," I snapped, sulking over to my bed. I lied down looking at Tim, my back facing Kanda. I heard his bed shift and I felt my stomach clench. I wasn't worried. With all the shit happening I wasn't worried about Kanda. I wasn't worried about the dream he had or the way he acted this morning or how nice he seemed encouraging me and then how cold he seemed just now. I wasn't worried, it didn't bug me, it didn't make me as his friend care one fucking bit. I felt a hand pull my face upward and Kanda stared down at me coldly. His thumb pressed into my jaw as his other fingers sank into my cheek on the other side of my face.

"Hey! What are y-"

"Answer me beansprout," he ordered. I flinched slightly. _Of course I do, you're my friend and I'm really worried about you, believe it or not I actually care, so why not just try to cooperate with me for once!_ Yea, like hell I was going to say that to his face. Sure he hated me, I believed it. Didn't mean he couldn't try and cooperate with me since we were stuck with eachother anyways. I thought maybe he'd finally start to open up. I thought maybe we could finally get along. Not sure why, he's still an ass. No fucking idea why that would change! He deepened his grip.

"Hey, ow! Let go, that hurts!" I snapped as I clenched his arm and flung it away from me. He threw one leg on top of me to keep me down, both of his hands having somehow pinned mine down.

"You won't finish an argument you started? Some man you are bean-" I glared at him.

"Shut up! What do YOU care!" I snapped back at him quickly, my glare deepening as his face was slightly taken aback. I took the chance to flip him over off the bed. He cursed as he banged down onto the floor under my weight as I pinned him down. I glared up at me.

"I never said I DID care short stack," he growled through clenched teeth.

"Then don't ask!" I shouted as I jumped off of him. He swung his leg under my feet making me fall but I kicked him just as he was about to land what would have been a harmful blow to the face. He flew backward into the wall and fell to the floor in a huff. He sat and I lied there in silence untill our breathing evened out.

"What were you going to say?" he asked again after many minutes, not moving an inch from his spot, his hair hanging over his face.

"You don't care, don't ask," I growled.

"Che, too bad. I'm asking."

"That mean you care?" I challenged. There was a long pause.

"Fine," he muttered I tied to sit myself up stiffly to look at him, who still hadn't moved an inch.

"Huh?" I replied dumbly. Was he giving up or did he just agree with me?

"Fine! I care already, alright! Now what the hell were you going to say!" he shouted, his face still hidden behind his hair. I shuffled over to his slowly and pulled his hair aside, his head hanging low, his eyes distracted, far away from me. My heart dropped in my stomach.

"Just that, I was worried- still am- about you. I don't know what's going on and I'm sure you don't care but I do. And that, as your friend, I think I at least have the right for you to TRY and cooperate with me every now and then instead of always having you try and pick a fight with me." _There. I said it. So why were you looking at me like you just lost?_ His saddened gaze looked at me searchingly, and I leaned foward instinctivly. I don't know why, I couldn't think straight since that morning. I hadn't ever even thought of kissing anyone before and here I was, doing it so casually, and with another man no less. I felt that warm feeling that I had been trying to cling to flare up again. Fire. A burning fire that he had sparked because of him. I felt sick, like my Master even, the way I was suddenly thinking about Kanda recently. I wanted him closer. And I knew it was wrong. It shouldn't be happening, none of it, it'd only get him killed sooner, right? So why did having his mouth pressed so firmly against mine feel so good? Then, his arms wrapped around me as he leaned in and pulled me closer. My mouth opened momentarily to breathe and he followed suit, breathing in the sent of my parted mouth. I wanted this man, I needed him closer, he was holding me together now. I don't know what I'd be doing if I wasn't with him this very moment. And I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to let him go, I was too afraid that if I did, my fire would die and I'd lose him forever.

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

His mouth opened momentarily to breathe and I quickly followed suit, breathing in the sent of his parted mouth. I wanted this man, I needed him closer, he was holding me together now. I don't know what I'd be doing if I wasn't with him this very moment. And I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to let him go, I was too afraid that if I did, my heart would wither and I'd lose him too.

"Kanda?" I paused, his lips brushing against mine as he breathed into me. The warmth of his breath inside of me sent I slight shiver down my spine, and I tightened my grip around him as I felt him trembling slightly. Was he backing out? After he started this? Was he just toying with me after this morning. I closed my mouth and opened my eyes to give him a stern look.

"What?" he flinched slightly at the harshness of my voice. Why was he doing this to me? Tormenting me like this? Didn't he understand? I hated myself for even becoming friends with him, and here he was making it worse but sparking a never-before sighted lust in me. He peeked open his eyes to look down at me, his body hoisted into my lap loomed over me as he kneeled and I merely sat slunched downward by him.

"You, you didn't push me away?" he asked, his voice wavering. I felt my eyebrow twitch slightly at the question.

"No, that was you this morning, remember?" I looked down at me shocked, his lip quivering slightly. I begin to rise as his pushed away from me slightly to stand up, obviously sensing my words as cruel daggers that rejected him coldly. I felt my heart beat faster though. My body suddenly cold where we had touched. He was moving further away and I acted on a new-found hunger that possesed me. I thrust him back to me and as he, shocked, exclaimed my name I threw him on the ground. He lied underneath me as I straddled him, my lips pressed tightly against his, my body pressing into his to find that warmth that I had unbearably lost.

"Mmm!" I heard him sound as I fiercened the kiss. I put one hand behind his neck as I broke away, his mouth letting out a gasp.

"If you're going to keep trying to cut out half-way I'll just need to make sure you stay put then, yes?" I said, a smirk on my face. He looked up at me, shocked eyes glistening slightly. I leaned back down, my hands pulling Allen somehow even closer to me. I pulled away as I felt something wet splash my cheek where it met with his. I ignored his word-less protest as a small tear found its was, squeezing past his tightly shut eyelids. He was crying? Again? I paused, debating what to do but irrationally I lean foward, licking upward on his face, his tear tasting odd. Salty almost, but not in the worst way. His none cursed eye peeked open.

"Kanda?" he wearily tried, his voice slightly higher than usual. I continued upward, over his cursed eye, and up to the filled-in pentacle that rested upside-down on his forehead. I placed a firm kiss on that too and then returned back to his mouth as I pressed my body slightly into him. We both moaned together at the touch and the warmth that I was feeling continued to grow, swelling up my chest as I opened my mouth slightly, nipping his quivering, bottom lip gently with my teeth. My tounge prodded foward, demanding entrance. He let out a shakey breath and I took the opportunity to quickly engulf him, his head rising from the floor is surprised affection. He reached his arms up past my chest and around my neck, his chest pressed into mine mid-air. I hated the wall between us that the clothing made, and as I explored every morsale of his mouth with my tounge, I fished my fingers that had found themselves netted in his hair, down to his shirt. As I lifted the wall higher, my palms pressed into his sides, he let a deep moan out into the back of my throat as I pulled away. The shirt was gone in less then a second followed by mine quickly. I could have sworn that Allen tasted part of the shirt before it was tossed aside as he thrust himself back my my mouth, which I had open, waiting for his own entrence. He realized the invitation quickly and maneuvered his tounge around my mouth eagerly. He lapped at my own and moaned as my hands pressed the small of his back closer to me, the heat I felt with his rising steadily. We pulled away at the last moment possible to breathe and I opened my eyes to see his own open as well, more shakey than I had. I his arms slung desperatly to my neck but he still trembled uncontrollable.

"Kanda.." he tried breathlessly. I put my mouth to his ear and whispered warmly.

"Yes?" his voice caught and I felt his head hanging backward. I bit at his neck and then sucked the same spot harshly. He moaned out in ecstacy.

"Kanda! I feel...really heavy, like I'm going to fall!" he whined. I pushed him down harshly against the floor as my mouth found his again, his gasp unable to excape fully. I felt my palms press into him harshly as I ground my pelvis into his. He may have let out a small cry had his mouth been free but as I ravaged his mouth hungrily, only deep groans could be exchanged between us. What the hell was I doing? Was this right? ...Did I care? I ground my pelvis into his again, this time more quickly and more harshly.

"Ah!" he cried suddenly against my retreating lips, his back arching upward even closer to me. I breathed in, the air ice compared to his mouth, his tounge, his breath. Everything that wasn't him made me cold now, so I tried to press closer and closer to him. His frail and yet toned chest turning a deep red. I placed a kiss on his mouth, then the corner, on his chin, down his neck, on his collarbone. I wasn't going to let him go. This man was different. I wanted him, needed him. Closer. Tighter. Longer. More. He was holding me together now. I don't know what I'd be doing if I wasn't with him this very moment. And I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to let him go, never. I was too afraid that if I did, my heart would shrivel up into nothing and I'd be lost forever. I couldn't lose him, if my past taught me anything, it was to not lose this man to anything. Fuck the Church. Fuck the Earl. To hell with it all. I didn't care. Not in comparison to him, who clung closely to my as I traced his collarbone with my tounge eagerly. No, I wouldn't let him go. That much I was sure. I was the lotus blossom. He was my fire. Together, neither could ever die. A flower with petals made of flames that burned brighter than any strength alone.

"Allen.." I whispered as I allowed myself to drown in him, the scent of the cotten candy that he had eaten earlier torn away with my own overpowering scent that had poisoned him so easily...

**End Note:** OMG! OMG! IM DONE! D: Oooohhh, Allen and Kanda you two dirty little boys. About time you two do something what the hell were you two thinking! Yeesh, well, with that chapter six is I DARE SAY IT! finished O_O Oh yes, my fingers are crying out in pain but dayum, I felt so naughty typing this. . haha Hope you all enjoyed and please, reviews are love! :D And don't YOU all love where I stopped? ;) hehe P.S. sorry for any possible typo.s, I thought I did ok but I'm too lazy to re-read and check so sorry! :'( *shot*


	7. HOTTER THAN FIRE

**Author's Note: **This chapter is going to be very naughty now, not for the feint of non-horny minds. ^^" WARNING: THIS STORY HAS CONTAINTED SPOILERS on Kanda's past, Alma, and Allen's involvment with the 14th, so you were all to keep updatd on the mangas as I said in chapter 1! chapter 205 is up online so you were to make sure you were at least that far to have read this fanfic, but by now you're fine because if youve made it this far then youre well aware! Other than that, if this isn't something you think you may like then don't read it! It's obviously a Yullen and not some sort of lime story. And if you haven't seen the rating? It's M, so I think that makes the content self-explanatory. But for those of you who are into all that jazz and are sick of my needless rambling here? Enjoy! 3 P.S. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MAJOR **LEMON**! LEMON IS DIRTY NAUGHTY SEXY SCENES! ITS NOT SUITED FOR CHILDREN...unless that's just the way you roll like me but still.. ;) IF YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT LEMON WAS THEN THAT PROLLY MEANS THIS ISNT SUITED FOR YOU! that was your last chance, if you still insist on reading then enjoy 3

FLASHBACK

I wasn't going to let him go. This man was different. I wanted him, needed him. Closer. Tighter. Longer. More. He was holding me together now. I don't know what I'd be doing if I wasn't with him this very moment. And I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to let him go, ever. I was too afraid that if I did, my heart would shrivel up into nothing and I'd be lost forever. I couldn't lose him, if my past taught me anything, it was to not lose this man to anything. Fuck the Church. Fuck the Earl. To hell with it all. I didn't care. Not in comparison to him, who clung closely to me as I traced his collarbone with my tounge eagerly. No, I wouldn't let him go. That much I was sure. I was the lotus blossom. He was my fire. Together, neither could ever die. A flower with petals made of flames that burned brighter than any strength alone.

_START OF STORY_- Allen

I was so hot, I felt as if I was on fire! Kanda, he flared up my skin so I burned where he was, and froze where he wasn't. I felt my lower lip trembling as he traced my collar bone with his tounge. My whole body shook. Was I afraid? No, I felt safest with this man. And yet, I trembled at his touch. I arched my back into him earnestly, and he paused for a moment, trailing his teeth back up my neck, biting it suddenly, resulting in a surprised gasp from myself. Everything was so hot, I had my shirt off, right? Why was I so warm? His lips were pressed to mine again- firm, tight, the fire building yet again. I entwined my left hand into the knotted mass of hair on his neck and my right tried to pull him closer to me from his back. A sudden idea flared into my mind and I flipped him over earnestly. Kanda, surprised, didn't have time to react as I lowerd myself onto his body. I nipped at his earlobe as he let out low moans of pleasure. I continued down his neck, biting him forcefully. He flung his head back and bucked his hips up at me as he let out a deep 'Ah!'. I continued down, tracing his collarbone with my tounge as he had, until I found his tattoo, as intricate as ever but even more beautiful glistening with sweat. I traced the design wetly with my eager tounge, taking my time with the man underneath me. I wanted him. More than ever. I never had such thoughts before, and here I was, ready to ravage him-

I felt a quick cut of air and then a sharp pain in my back as Kanda flipped me back over, demanding my cooperation. He had somehow locked my hands in one hand, while his tounge and fingers on his other hand traced over my navel. I let out a loud groan as I bucked into him, my erection growing irritable being barred behind such a wall as merely two layers of clothing. His fingers toyed with my belt as his tounge lapped as far as it could under my pants. I was breathing hard now, my whole body aflame. I didn't bother to struggle, I only trembled at the pleasuring mystery that presented itself to me. After an entire millenia, he finally managed my belt off, and proceeded to take my pants off eagerly with his teeth. How did he do that? He was so good at this, I didn't have time to think. His palms, pressed to my hips, slid eagerly downward, taking my pants off with them while sending electric shocks up my legs and to my growing erection. I reached my knees upward just enough to grasp his sides as I forced him up to my face knowingly.

His gaze, distant and yet solid, overflowed with lust. I was suew that my eyes matched his own perfectly. I took his face with my hands forcefully and pulled him eagerly into me again._ His_ hands were busy undoing his own belt and removing his pants. I didn't even remember he had the sword attached until I heard it clang on the floor as he threw it aside. I turned my head to look at the gleaming item at the sound of the metal on wood- Kanda proceeding to suck at my neck where my mouth had been moments before. I gasped earnestly as he pressed himself closer. I felt myself flush as I felt his own erection pressing tightly against mine. I grasped him tightly as I threw him back under me, only to have him finish the roll with one more, landing himself ontop of me again. I looked up at him with irritated eyes and his laughed cruely, a small smile that was equally cruel playing at his lips. I was used to such a smile, I saw it frequently during battle. Only I never saw it directed to me until this night. And his laugh, I always thought that it would sound odd. But instead it was like music to me, almost like chimes, but yet so far from. I bucked my hips upward harshly, forcing my eyes open despite my exasparated moan, to see Kanda groan out as well himself, his eyes shut in blinding pleasure. Just as I momentarilly wondered who was 'on top' in this new-found relationship Kanda ravished my navel, making my head fly backwards into the ground, my back arching upward into him.

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

Just as he thrust himself upward I tore the remainder of clothes from his body, leaving him fully exposed to me. He was breathing heavily, his eyes clenched shut. I didn't worry if it was because he was hurt or pleasured though. Considering the size of his erection, he was having a _very_ good time so far. I momentarily debated if I should take off the last wall that separated us if only to tease the boy that was obviously fighting me for dominance. Just as the thought passed my mind, I felt the tips of his fingers flick at my naval, reaching downward to try and remove the remaining clothing themselves. I smirked to myself, straddling the white-haired (everywhere) boy. I took his hand of Innocence, lifting the tips of his fingers to my mouth. At first, I merely lapped at his nails, and then I proceeded to suck on them entirely, hinting extravagantly what I was planning to do with his item _very_ soon. I flicked my gaze up at his eagerly, his lustful eyes watching me erotically, his mouth slightly agape. I chuckled slightly as I removed his fingers from my mouth he reached past my back and beneath my clothing. I gasped, surprised at his boldness, and grabbed his hand firmly- removing the prodding intrusion. I held his hands firmly above his head and kissed him firmly. I bit his lower, still-trembling, lip harshly and he let out a sharp cry. I smirked at the sound, wanting to hear more. I lowered myself to his ear.

"That was your punishment, you need to be more patient. I'm in charge here and I say you're not ready for that yet, _moyashi_," I growled lightly, my lips brushing against his ear tenderly. He gasped at the heated touch.

"M-moyashi?" he repeated, a hint of worry in his tone. I kissed him again amused but went further down his body immediatly after.

"Sorry, it means beanspout," I said with a chuckle. I sensed he was about to retort with something stupid so I lapped at his tip eagerly. Such a small gesture and still, the moan that followed his sharp gasp caught my attention more than ever as it cut his words aside. I pondered teasing the man beneath me to hear a series of deep, lustful groans. But his sharp cry from eariler made me smile ruefully so I engulfed the man entirely in my mouth harshly, removing my hands from his own to prevent him from bucking his hips wildly into me. He would have surely choked me, but I had already heard what I wanted to. His sharp cry, much louder than before, broke out musically. I tasted the pre-cum that he was releasing as I sucked on him harder, harsher, faster, more! He cried out more often now, his tone turning less pitched with surprise and more harsh with evident lust.

"Ahh! Ahhh! AHHHHHhh!" I pulled away as I felt the obvious virgin beneath me begin to enter his yearn for release. As I rose over him, my face a foot above his, my hands on either side of his face, he glared up at me.

"Ahh, Damn you Yu, don't fucking tease me like this! Just-"

"Who the hell said you could call me Yu beansprout?" I chuckled, cutting him off. His face was immediatly pained and I felt bad for it, I was just teasing him. I looked down at him guilty for a moment only to smile cruely, a new idea in my mind. If he wasn't going to fight back at all he wan't ready to play the man here. I'd show him how a guy plays as the dominant male in a relationship as fucked up as ours. I put my index and middle finger to his lips, a smile playing at my own. He looked at them and then at me wearily, obviously having been pushing himself too far sexually as I toyed with him before. I'd have to be careful, it was my first time as well but by the looks of it he wouldn't last as long as I might have yearned for.

"Do I need to pump you some more for you to say 'ah' again or can you do that yourself?" I said lightly to him, a wide smirk spreading across my face. His face looked up at me shocked, and as his mouth gaped a little involuntarily I quickly placed the two digits inside. He bit down on them cruely and I thrust my pelvis into his own harshly, making him moan loudly, his mouth forced open with pleasure.

"Suck," I ordered masterfully. A sudden spark lit up his sweat-coated face and he began to erotically lap at each finger as I had earlier. As he drove closer to my knuckles his teeth grazed as his tounge lapped and mouth sucked. I could have exploded right then as my heart raced watching and feeling him like that. How the fuck did he do that? I'd have to force him to do that to me some other time, but now wasn't it. My plan was already set.

"That's enough short stack," I muttered teasingly. I removed my fingers quickly and before he could protest I shoved one harshly inside of him.

"AAAhhhAAAAA!" he cried out, his voice increasing in pitch as I pushed it almost entirely in, and then slowly pulled the digit back out, and then in again forcefully. A mere two times I did this before I inserted the middle finger. His scream increased another pitch higher. This time I rolled them in and out slowly, gently, and then I gradually began to increase in speed. As soon as his arms' tight grip around my neck loosened slightly, his screams turned to moans, and his breathing came in less harsh, I began to scissors inside of him. I wiggled my fingers inside curiously, erotically, and almost wondered if I should insert my ring finger raw since I was afraid he wouldn't be stretched far enough with what I planned to insert next. I looked at his face that clung closely into my chest, his arms squeezed around my neck to keep him pulled up, his pelvis most likely attached to my own by now due to the consistent amount of excess pressure exerted down there. I could feel the moisture from his heated breath on me already but out of consideration, for the man I was going to fuck so harshly soon, I inserted the extra finger.

"Wa-AHH! f-FUUUU (these u's sound like ah!'s)CK!" he cried out, pressing himself somehow even closer to me. He grit his teeth together to keep from crying out even more as I adjusted this finger in him as well, until I was sure he was as stretched as much as he was going to get. I pushed him gently back down onto the ground as I knelt over him, grabbing his hands gently but forcefully. I pressed his palms to my hips and slid them downward until he got the idea. He pushed me over harshly, something I didn't expect and as I tried to wretch my upper half upward his teeth ripped off the no-longer remaining wall. He hovered over me, revenge in his eyes, as he swallowed me whole. I gasped and thrust myself into him, moaning loudly. I felt him choke slightly as he deep-throated me, sucking harder, faster, but for only a few short seconds. And he let me go, with no warning, and his face hung over mine greedily. I smiled forcefully, my breath coming in as harshly as his!

"Think you lubricated me enough to enter you yet?" I asked with a smirk. He lied down on me gently, pressing me to take control again.

"Oh God, please," he moaned. I chuckled as I flipped him over gently, his young face gazing up at me hungrily.

"No need for such titles short stack," I managed before I retched his legs higher until I prodded my length at his entrance earnestly. I pressed my tip into him and I resisted the moan that surely escaped anyways as I pushed further into him, slowly so as not to hurt him too much.

"Ehh! Ah! AHH! Ahh..AH!" Allen managed between gasps. And then, I grew impatient, the sound of his earlier screams comming back to my greedy mind, and I cruelly shoved myself into him fully...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

The cry that I released as he fully shoved himself within me was anything but manly. I cursed myself for releasing it, surely he was only doing such a thing to hear it. I wanted to show him that I could own up to him, fuck him as hard as he did me, but it felt so good, they way he was handling me. For now, I couldn't imagine this any other way. His hands ground into my hips as he tried to control my eager thrusting as he pulled out almost fully, gently. He waited and I felt myself tightening, the pain almost unbearable.

"Dammit...MOVE!" I yelled forcefully, my tone demanding. He obeyed. He thrust himself into me violently and I let out a more manly cry than before. Blinding pleasure increased with the dizzying heat that engulfed me. I was on fire. Burning everywhere, from the inside out. I moaned out loudly as his speed increased, and my hands helplessly grasped onto him as he adjusted his angle and thrust himself in harder. I choked on air, my world becoming dizzy. I sqeezed my eyes shut as he adjusted his angle again. His hips flew foward-

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I screamed out unbearably. Burning white light flashed within my closed eyelids. I swear I heard Kanda mutter the words 'found it' but as he thrust himself into me again another flash of pleasuring pain cut off my thoughts. Tears squeezed themselves past my closed eyelids and burned harshly on my skin. My voice was caught, I couldn't breathe! I felt like I was going to burst as he pumped me with one of his hands! How was he doing that? Pleasuring me so greatly and-! I felt myself tighten around my erection. I remembered it from earlier, that welled up feeling inside of me, as if I was going to burst! I moaned sadly as he stopped pumping and thrusting me suddenly. I tried to force my hips upward, the need to release and itch that burn inside of me increasing dangerously. His voice tickled my ear.

"Say my name," whispered huskily. I gasped, barely able to breathe much less speak.

"Ka-kan," I tried, tears welling up again and flowing down my face. He licked at them gingerly.

"Try again," he whispered softly.

"Ka-KANDA!" I cried out. I opened my eyes to look at him smiling down at me painfully. He...he needed his release too, this must have been killing him as well. My heart beat furiously as he slowly shook his head.

"Say my name, _Aren_," his voice thickening with the Japanese accent when saying my name. It rang out in my ears more so than ever. I smiled hungrily.

"Yu-" I started and then he forced himself into me, faster, faster! I moaned loudly with him as he pumped me harder, harder! I was about to release but something in me wanted to do so after he had. We both waited, going faster, harder, more violent than ever until he jerked harshly on my with his hand!

"YU!" I screamed out as I released all over him. A moment later, he moaned out loudly as he released within me, the world white as he gently pulled out of my singing body, his own planted firmly on mine. He rolled over, holding me on top of him gently. Breathless, I looked down at his strong body, my seed painting him lightly but clearly, to the point where I couldn't even see his old battle scars anymore. I slowly lowered myself until I was lapping up the mess from him.

"Mmm! Allen..." he murmered as I finished cleaning him. It was done too quickly, my own seed tasting odd in my mouth, down my throat. I felt him hoist me back up until he forced his tounge into my mouth eagerly. His grip on my arms loosened only after our kiss broke and as I fell into him on his side, he turned his body downward, his hand pulling my face up to his to lick away the cum that was left over at the corner of my mouth.

"You taste so good..." he murmered quietly. I wrapped myself around him eagerly as I breathed heavily into his shoulder, our sweat-soaked bodies sliding us against eachother easily. I looked past him into nothing. Kanda, please, don't ever die. I couldn't bear it if you did now, after all of this. And then, I fell asleep, exhausted, in his strong arms, the warmth of him heating my still burning body. Kanda, I know I always said I hated you, but I can't lie now. I love you, more than anything. Even more than I had loved Mana. Please Kanda, I need you now. Don't leave me, without you I'd surely succumb to nothingness. Without you I'd surely have nothing left but the memory of the 14th...

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

His breathing became even, quiet, and I knew he was asleep. I kissed the top of his head gently, his hair soaked with sweat. I closed my eyes slowly. Allen, why the hell did you choose this? Choose me? I'd always been an ass to you. I always pushed you away. I always tried to forcibly make you hate me. And yet- this happened. I was supposed to be pissed at myself. I was supposed to be forcing the boy that lie asleep in my arms away. And yet- this happened. Here we were, and I hated to admit it even to myself but I loved this man. This Church already damned us so who the fuck cared if it was against policy for two men to do a fraction of what we just had? I had him, all to myself. If the Noah wanted him, I'd kill them. If the Church wanted him dead, I'd kill them too. If the 14th tried to take him over, I'd have to fuck Allen so hard that that asshole would be scarred if he stayed as he was. That last thought pleasured me slightly.

"Yu..." I looked down at Allen suddenly but chuckled lightly to myself. I was glad to know he was dreaming of _me_ at least. I tightened my hold on him and Allen responded with a soft 'mm', his face nuzzling into my neck. Oh god, he was still so...uke, even in his sleep.

"Good night..Allen," I whispered gently. The still-sleeping boy shifted in my arms slightly as he furrowed himself closer into me.

"I love you..." he murmered soundlessly. I smiled happily, in complete ecstacy as I carried his naked form off the floor and into my bed with me, a sheet sloppily covering us as I held him closer to me.

"Aishiteru..love," I whispered in his ear, too stuck up for my own good to admit it as he had. I wasn't sure if Allen understood the Japanese of my confession, but at the sound of his newly made nickname, his sleeping form responded by coming even closer into me. And I fell asleep as well, the moon shining in through the broken window, casting odd shadows over our stilled forms as we fell into dreams only of eachother...

**End Note:** OMG ITS DONE! should I leave it here or continue the story? With the way I've got this set up I could easily keep the story moving but only if you all want! Otherwise it's finished. ^^" Oh my, I feel so dirty now though. O_O I can't believe how terribly horny I got with this. lady boner? ." eheh...WELL! I hope that you all enjoyed and since I re-read my previous chapter and died of my horrid typing-errors I've decided to run this one through and make sure it's typo free before posting! :D So, on that note- PLEASE _**REVIEW**_! :D Lots of Love, neenea. 3 :3


	8. WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

**Author's Note: **Well, since so many people asked of me to continue this (even got some death threats if I didnt! yaaay!) I've decided to move ONWAAARD with this fanfic! ^^ Oh yea, I thought I was gunna die before, just watch me now! ^^" I'm not sure how to keep going with this since I'm not Hoshino-sensei and I don't have an amazing plot-creative mind, but I'll still try. O_o For those of you that liked how the story was with it ending in the last chapter, then feel free to not read on. Rating still M. Won't get all lime here now, but it'll be in there. Still don't own -Man. If I did it would only be a smutty Yullen manga. . And I'm sick of the whole spoilers thing. If you start reading this story from here and didn't see the spoiler warning before this then you deserve it. -.- ...Enjoy! ^^

_FLASHBACK_- Kanda

"Aishiteru..love," I whispered in his ear, too stuck up for my own good to admit it as he had. I wasn't sure if Allen understood the Japanese of my confession, but at the sound of his newly made nickname, his sleeping form responded by coming even closer into me. And I fell asleep as well, the moon shining in through the broken window, casting odd shadows over our stilled forms as we fell into dreams only of eachother...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

I awoke in a haze, my dream clouding me entirely. I felt so warm, but not on fire as I had in that erotic dream. And what the hell was my subconcious thinking? The way it had created such a perverted scene as- I paused mid-thought. What was I looking at? I put my hand up to the wall before me as I pushed myself slightly back, strong arms holding me secure. I felt my face redden as I realized I had been sleeping against Kanda's, naked, chest. His eyes were soft, closed, and his breathing musically even. I had this strong urge to lean into him and kiss him as I had in my dream. Wait...dream? Was it really a dream? I paused, realizing I was missing my shirt as well, and then it slowly suck in that we _both _were missing some much more important forms of clothing futher down. My blush deepened as I tried to scramble away from the man before me, my memories slowly coming back to me. It wasn't a dream. We really- my face turned just a shade redder to match that of even Lavi's hair color. Kanda stirred, his eyes fluttering open to look up at my now sitting form. I felt my body tighten as I yearned to touch him. What the hell was I thinking! How could I-

"Why the face beansprout?" he murmered softly, still half-asleep. I waited a bit, thinking he didn't yet realize what we had done just hours before. He paused, blinking away the sleep and then he sat up to look me in the eyes. His eyes, that deep blue [a/n: going with the manga color here] looking straight through me. I felt myself leaning foward. Somehow intoxicated by this man now. I should be arguing. Yelling at him for calling me beansprout again. I should be punching him, anything. Instead I feel as if I want him, need him in a way I never thought I could imagine- He pressed his lips to fine forcefully, his right hand supporting him on the bed, and his left hooked around at the back of my neck, the tips of his fingers pressing me closer to him. I submitted eagerly, not caring about how things were, all thoughts of recent troubles washed away by his tounge in my mouth, as if it was licking away any sanity that I had left. _I love you._ My sleep-confession rushed back into my mind and I felt my face grow warmer yet. I put my hands to his waist and pulled us closer, are bodies warmed by the increased touch. He broke the kiss momentarilly to look into my face. By breathing came in harsh, how was I so excited already? Was I really that- he lied back down. The moment lost. He crossed his arms behind his head on the pillow and looked up at me warmly. What was he doing? Didn't he understand? I wasn't fighting with him. I wanted him, as much as I did last night. I wanted him closer, harder, tighter. More. Didn't he understand? Something..happened. And here he was acting so calm about it. As if being with another man that he always said he hated, as if being with _me_ like _this_ was normal! He reached his hand up to my face, his eyes contorted with worry. Why the hell was he doing that? It wasn't like him. Was this really the Kanda I thought I knew? His thumb brushed my tear and swept it across my face. He propped himself up on his elbow, his right hand still on my face.

"What's wrong?" I closed my eyes. What's wrong? What's wrong! What wasn't wrong! Everything was so messed up, I felt as if my brain was going to explode! The 14th, the Earl, my friends, Apocryphos, the Order, Kanda, everything. Everyone. It was so...off. It wasn't normal. Everything was changing so much so fast, I was surprised I hadn't cracked before this. Was...was I finally cracking? Was I finally going crazy? And then, I was warm. His arms were around me, my face in his neck, his head leaning into my hair, his hair grazing my face, my face wet...and yet warm.

"Allen..." he prodded. I felt myself givingin. But why? Did I really, _love_ this man? _What if I told you that once you become the 14th, you'd have to kill someone you loved._

"What if...it was you?" I whispered into his skin. My tears stopped, I felt like I was closing up. What if Master was talking about Kanda? What if he meant that I'd have to kill Kanda? But, he didn't know how I felt about Kanda then. I didn't even know how I felt about Kanda then. It felt like a lifetime ago...Master, just how much had you known?

"What was that?" he asked. I backed away from him to look him in the eyes. I moved the clump of his hair that had stuck to my face's wet tears to my lips, kissing his hair gingerly in my hand. Soft...so soft. I pulled on his hair, throwing his face closer to mine.

"Ah! Hey-" he started angrily. I thurst my lips unto his wetly. I pressed harder, pulled on his hair slightly more and he growled slightly into me. His hand grabbed my hand harshly so as to stop me from pulling harder. I felt my tounge press against his full of passion for a moment, and then I pulled away from him slightly. He tried to lean back foward but my left hand placed on his chest held him at a hair's length away.

"What if this," I started, my lips brushing his as I spoke," would only end up getting you killed?" I said, my eyes staring in his seriously. He paused for a moment, staring me down.

"You mean with the 14th?" he said, his voice dark. I paused, nodding slowly.

"Che, he'll have a time trying to keep me from you now," he replied coldly, his face suddenly against mine fully. His left hand let go of my right and pulled me into his lap. I stretched my back so I was leaning over him, his face held gently in my hands. What was this? I felt so warm, happy even. Lust? Yes, that was there. Overwhelmingly. But love? Was such a thing really meant for someone like myself? Mana, after you I was supposed to learn. I thought that I had grown since then, but had I really? Was I too lost to be saved? Even now? Was I even myself anymore? I felt a spark fly inside of me as Kanda ground himself to me eagerly. No, this wasn't the 14th. This was me. All of me. All of his. I was his, and he was mine I realized as I hungrily bit at his lower lip. All mine. To hell with the 14th. To hell with the past. To hell with the Order and the Earl and the Noah and everything and everyone else. I loved Kanda. Not like I had with Mana, my father. But in a way I can't describe properly. I bit at Kanda's earlobe and then into his neck hungrily. I wondered for a moment where we were to go from here, but the thought was immediatly gone as Kanda threw me down onto the bed.

_NEW SCENE_- Kanda

"Allen?" I said, his name tickling my tounge as it lolled over his collarbone.

"Hn?" he replied. I paused, my face over his and my hair curtaining his face delicately. He opened his eyes to look up at me. I felt like falling into those eyes, the way they pulled me closer to him. And then he froze, his face jerking to the window as his grip on my arms tightened, his left eye changing into an assortment of red rings against black. Fuck.

"Akuma!" he breathed shocked. I almost didn't care. I almost pretended like I didn't hear. I almost decided to do something to him that would force his attention back to me, only me. I lied myself down on him, my lips pressing his neck tenderly.

"Che, fools. How far? How many?" I asked calmly.

"Four level twos, and one level three. They look like they're at Mater at the moment," he replied worried. This was no good. The moment was ruined as I got off of Allen to try and find my clothes. I slipped into them easily, my shirt still missing. Allen continued to lie on the bed, his right hand to the right side of his face, his eyes shut, and his face contorted to an emotion I knew too well. I walked over to the barely properly covered man and leaned down to kiss him softly. He stirred and gasped sadly as I pulled away.

"Come on, may as well get moving," I said just as I located Allen's shirt. I tossed it too him and saw my own shirt under the bed, beside the rest of Allen's clothes. I threw them to him as well as I slid my shirt on. My hair still hung loosely and I tried to look for something to use to get it out of the way as I put on my belt, reattaching my sword. I turned to Allen and saw him sitting upright, the clothes I had tossed him sitting haphazardly in his lap, his gaze far away. I walked over to him again, my worry inceasing.

"Oi, beansprout?" I tried, waving my hand in front of his face. He blinked quickly and looked up at me suddenly.

"Oh, aha, sorry I was just thinking..." he started his voice trailing off as his smile dimmed. I gave him a stern look but he started to dress nonetheless. I walked over the the window to try and see if the Akuma were in sight yet. Not to my trained eye they weren't. Allen's arms circled up to my shoulders. I looked back at him shocked, his face hidden in my back.

"Thank you," he said softly. I furrowed my eyebrows together tightly. What the hell was going on in that brain of his? I was sure something was wrong. At first he seemed fine but I let his mind wander to much and now he seemed so far away.

"Che, what for?" I grumbled slightly turning for the door as he smiled back at me.

"For keeping me together, in one piece." I turned to look at him, his face sad despite his usual smile. I walked over to him and pulled his chin to look up at me, a cruel smile playing at my lips.

"What? You think I was going to have you so hard last night that you'd crumble under me?" I joked, my voice hard. A fresh shade of red crossed his face as his shocked eyes looked up at me. He forced his way past me to the door. He seemed so eager to overwhelm me last night but now it seemed almost as if he was playing the role of the submittant perfectly.

"No! That was NOT what I meant!" he replied, his breath choked. I smiled, chuckling lightly to myself. I know what you meant Allen, trust me, I knew...

_NEW SCENE_- Allen

We reached the gates of Kreet when I noticed that one of the Akuma had been defeated. I stopped suddenly, my left eye watching them in the distance closely. Kanda stopped to look back at me confused.

"What-"

"It's the Akuma, something's destroying them." We both paused uncertainly but burst into a quick sprint, ready to fight if we needed, but ready to hide as watch to see who had found themselves so close to us.

_-break-_

The Akuma were all destroyed as we came upon the battle site that had been recently created in the woods surrounding Mater. There were two men that I didn't recognize that were laughing cruely. I heard Kanda 'che' under his breath and I turned to him from where we hid behind mere bushed confused.

"What is it?" I whispered quietly. He knocked his head in the direction of the two exorcists.

"The taller one is Karl Dressler. He a sick bastard that gets his kicks from killing whatever he can, not just Akuma. Never seen the shorter one though," he whispered to me, obviously irritated by the man that stood not far from us. Karl stood tall, about 6 feet? He had his uniform pressed tightly and his hair hung greesily down on his face, a gotee painting his chin. His cold eyes were looking at the shorter man as he chewed a toothpick earnestly. The shorter man, about my height, was giving Karl a dissapproving look. His hair was in a long pony-tail, but unlike Kanda's, it hung at his neck. Both had black hair, and both had dark brown eyes.

"Was that really necessary Karl?" the shorter asked, his voice soft like a woman's, but his tone cold like a demon's. Karl laughed manically.

"They're just fucking Akuma! Who cares if I have some fun killing them?" he chuckled like a mad-man. The shorter sighed, walking into the direction of Kreet.

"The pope said that it was overheard that Yu Kanda was sent to the place of his and Allen Walker's first mission. Our only order is to retrieve him, kill Alma, and bring him back for the Order to imprision and question on Walker's whereabouts," he said evenly. Karl let out a howling laugh.

"That damned fake exorcist? What could a fool like that possibly know about a freaking Noah! I'm more interesting on what had happened to-"

"That's enough. This is our mission and you will do well to know your place," the shorter of the two said coldly, his eyes glistening with forceful hate as the other stared him down.

"Hikotomo Sôma...you are one fucked up little dog of the Order," Karl chucked as he followed Hikotomo into Mater. I was frozen, a whole new side of the exorcists shining out at me.

"Let's go," Kanda muttered suddenly. I looked up at him.

"Where?" I asked, not sure were we were expected to go from here. He paused, his face frowning and eyebrows furrowed.

"I need Mugen, I can't do anything against the Akuma with just this sword. But we need to find Cross, if that asshole is still alive then he can tell us what the other side to this war is," he muttered. Kanda, he had always hated Cross, and although I didn't have the best relations with him either, I was somewhat looking foward to seeing him, alive, as I hoped he was. But all that blood, and...Apocryphos. I gritted my teeth together sternly, glaring up at nothing.

"No...we need to reveal Apocryphos somehow. Master will be fine so long as he is alive. But with the Order at it's knees to something like that, even if it's some large form of Innocence, it's dangerous. And they need to know that at least. I mean, it's obvious that the Order is unaware of it, so they're surely being played here." I looked up at Kanda, his scowl emminent.

"I couldn't give a two fuck about the Order no-"

"But our friends. The Order is placing them in danger by making them so blind to what's happening. If we could just contact Lenalee or Lavi or Bookman or Krory or anyone, then I'm sure we could still make it through this without even risking getting captured." Kanda paused for a moment, obviously analyzing the situation.

"Che, fine, whatever..." I smiled up at him, suddenly sure of myself again. So we were heading back to the Order then? This surely was going to try both Kanda and my own's will. And the entire world's for that matter. These, truely would, be the times that would try men's souls... 

**End Note:** Aaaaaaand, CUT! D: Super short but oh well. It feels like another introduction so I was thinking of putting this into like a part two of this fanfic but I decided otherwise. If you guys think I should then shove it into a review and let me know. Otherwise, to all of those that have been so dearly reviewing but don't have their PM's allowed, I thank you dearly and know that I would have given thanks sooner if I could more personally. SO, I think I may have stopped here since I'm basically at my wits end for where to move on with this, so how about with all your lovely reviews I hope you'll leave me you give me some of your ideas? :) I could really use some inspiration here and I won't bother starting another chapter until I've got SOME sort of idea as to where to go with this! Hope you all enjoyed and review! ^^ 3


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